For crying out loud, I leave town for a few days and all hell breaks loose.

First, the city flip flops on the water issue like a spawning salmon trying to make its way up the Sacramento River, then UC Davis uses my absence to hire a new athletic director without my permission, then the temperature hits 105 in the shade — compared to 85 when I left — and finally, Yolo County’s official “trapper” guns down a family of five coyotes (mom and four pups; dad apparently got away) for daring to come too close to civilization.

Other than that, another boring July in the City of All Things Right and Relevant (and Sometimes Ridiculous).

I’ll deal with the water issue first and get to the rest of it as time allows over the remainder of the week.

If we go back a short while, the city of Davis was arguing that any delay in its plan to jointly tap Sacramento River water with the great city of Woodland would cost us millions and millions and millions of dollars. So many, in fact, that we wouldn’t be able to count them all. Delay was purely and simply the fool’s option, and anyone suggesting such a course of inaction was banished from the dinner table and sent to his room.

Fast forward to last Thursday night, when the council-appointed Water Advisory Committee held its most recent meeting, and there was City Manager Steve Pinkerton arguing vociferously for — you guessed it — delay.

Pinkerton found religion in lightning-quick fashion when the school board suddenly decided to drop yet another fat parcel tax on the November ballot alongside Jerry Brown’s proposed tax increase.

Figuring that even Davis voters might finally say enough is enough and decisively pick schools over a yet-to-be-defined water project, Pinkerton became the master of delay.

According to Tom Sakash’s piece in this very newspaper, Pinkerton “explained to the water committee that several new developments have altered the situation,” including “the fact that the school district now plans on placing a parcel tax on the November ballot, something the city hadn’t anticipated when the WAC first made its recommendation (for a November ballot).”

Pinkerton now believes a November ballot won’t give the WAC nearly enough time to complete its work and make informed recommendations on a project and proposed rates to both the council and the public at large. This, interestingly, is what opponents of a rush to judgment have been saying all along, only to be shouted down by those who contend that delay is both evil and costly.

So now, delay is the order of the day. Delay is responsible. Delay is prudent. Delay is no longer costly or catastrophic or, heaven forbid, unfair to Woodland. Delay is A-OK. Heck, they might even invite famous dance sensation Tom DeLay to come to Davis just to kick off the Davis Delay campaign.

After Pinkerton spoke, the WAC voted unanimously (10-0) to nix a November vote, then voted 9-0-1 to have the vote “No later than June 30, 2013.” Or nearly six months after the end of the world according to the Mayan calendar.

All of this delay is only advisory, of course, since the council will have the final say come Tuesday night. The council did grant the WAC the right to debate, discuss and recommend, but it’s not about to let the inmates run the prison.

According to my well connected water source, Deep Well, there is much merit in delaying the vote.

Notes D.W.: “I believe a pragmatic choice of system can be made that will well meet Davis’ needs over the next 25 years, and serve as a basis for whatever those who come after decide to do about the next 25 years following. That would be a system that we can fairly afford to pay for, collectively and individually. Nobody would consider it as their perfect system, but it would be a good enough compromise that 80 percent of the spectrum should be satisfied enough and vote to approve it. True, 10 percent will hate it because it isn’t a big fat river project, and another 10 percent will hate it because it isn’t based on collecting dew droplets from butterfly wings.”

But, Deep W. warns, it won’t be all milk and honey for everyone.

“Given the demographics of Davis ratepayers,” he adds, “most will be able to afford the somewhat higher bills unavoidably generated by even the most modest new (compromise) system, 25 percent will afford it with mild or modest mitigations in water use, and 25 percent will have to trim their usage very carefully just to limit the damage to their budget.”

Those left out of this equation will, presumably, move to Dunsmuir, where they can drink Sacramento River water any hour of the day or night.

What our brand new Kumbaya Council will decide is anyone’s guess, but listening to the advice of its very own Water Advisory Committee might be a good place to start.

— Reach Bob Dunning at [email protected]

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