Sunday, March 1, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Bob Dunning: All the news that’s fit to print

BobDunning2W

By
From page A2 | April 01, 2014 |

I left our drought-stricken town over the weekend to see if I could learn how human beings have managed to survive on the Mojave Desert, where no measurable rainfall has been recorded for the past 984 years, but when I returned home I learned that all hell had broken loose in my old hometown.
It’s hard to believe that so much could happen in such a short period of time, but here — in bullet-point fashion — are the highlights of this news-heavy weekend.

Davis City Councilman Brett Lee has been appointed to fill the remaining term of disgraced California Sen. Leland Yee after Democratic party leaders concluded they needed an “honest man” in their ranks.

City leaders are so confident that the Fifth Street Road Diet is the wave of the future that they plan to turn the entire length of Eighth Street into a pedestrian-only mall, with pizza parlors and frozen yogurt shops lining the former roadway.

The city of Woodland, with more millionaires per capita than any other city in Yolo County, has agreed to pay the entire cost of the Sacramento River surface water project because it fears residents of East Davis won’t be able to afford the new rates and will move to Woodland en masse.

The Davis school board has announced through newly hired Superintendent Julie Crawford that henceforth all “personnel” matters will be handled in open session and members of the press can rifle through the district’s financial files any time they please.

The city of Davis, admitting that Jose Granda is indeed right, has rescinded its proposed “half-cent” sales tax increase and will instead be asking voters to approve a 10 “percent” levy on all sales items, including groceries.

Peyton Manning, still smarting from being voted Least Valuable Player in Super Bowl XXXXIVXXCMVX, will announce his candidacy for Davis City Council, promising to “intercept” any bad legislation his colleagues come up with.

Legendary coach Jim Sochor has agreed to take over the Davis High School boys volleyball program on an “interim” basis with plans to introduce the West Coast offense.

The NCAA has invited the Aggie men’s basketball team to the Final Four and dropped Kentucky after Davis gym rat Rich Rifkin discovered that during the regular season UCD beat Air Force, Air Force beat Wyoming, Wyoming beat San Diego State, San Diego State beat Kansas, Kansas beat Oklahoma, Oklahoma beat Texas A&M, Texas A&M beat Arkansas, and Arkansas beat Kentucky.

Dan Wolk has dropped his bid for the California Assembly to become offensive coordinator at Stanford.

Using power of eminent domain, the Davis City Council has declared all water in Stonegate Lake and Lake Alhambra to be public property, invites all citizens to a “community swim” on Saturday.

The Sacramento Kings have announced they will be moving to Knights Landing and playing regular-season games on the outdoor baskets at the former Grafton Elementary School. “We’re tired of playing in front of so many empty seats,” declares new Kings owner Vivek Ranadive. “Grafton doesn’t have any seats, so we won’t have to worry about that anymore.”

Davis Downtown votes to make the entire city alcohol-free.

After rigorous psychological testing, Linda Katehi has been selected for NASA’s “Chancellor in Space” program and will immediately leave for Houston to begin a six-month training program.

UC Davis apiculturalists have revealed that the mysterious condition known as colony collapse disorder has led to the death of 140,000 hives in California, plus The Sacramento Bee.

Union Pacific has announced that beginning immediately, rail cars coming through Davis will carry only free-trade coffee beans, Blue Diamond Smokehouse almonds, Coors Light and popcorn-flavored Jelly Bellys. “If there’s an accident, we’ll have one big party in downtown Davis,” noted UP spokesman I.M. Railman, speaking on condition of anonymity.

In a 4-0 vote, Davis school board has named Rob Peterson to fill the seat vacated by former trustee Nancy Peterson.

And that’s all the news that’s fit to print, plus all the news that fits, on this First Day of April in the Year of Our Lord 2014.

— Reach Bob Dunning at [email protected]

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News

Sheriff: Mother ‘sole person responsible’ for infant’s death

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Rifle Team has a blast with competitive shooting

By Savannah Holmes | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Child abduction case in jury’s hands

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

 
Pipeline project will soften water in 2016

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1

Pig out at Farmers Market’s Pig Day

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

 
Weekend storm drops snow, rain, hail in California

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Christie to Republicans: No rush to pick 2016 nominee

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Bob Dunning: Colon prep can be hard to swallow

By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

Scouts help fill STEAC’s pantry

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

 
Explore Asia at Arboretum storytime

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

MU Games closing in late March

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

 
Still no parole in toddler case

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

City offers wetlands tour

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Parole denied in 1987 killing spree

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Young patients bond with special stuffies

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Diversity theater group continues creativity workshops

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Radio talk show moves to Mondays

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Assault awareness campaign kicks off

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

UCD student with meningococcal disease is recovering

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
UCD student panel to cover anti-Semitism, Islamophobia

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Yolo Food Bank hosts thank-you breakfast on Pig Day

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
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Forum

Milt Priggee cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: B4

 
Rowing: PE as well as life skills

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

Police complaint procedures drafted

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Clarifying energy update letter

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

Weekly claw pickup necessary

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

 
Mars or ISIS? Similar outcome

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

City may get charged up over energy choices

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

 
Design innovation centers for the 21st century

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B5

 
Speak out

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B5

 
A new perspective on life

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A7

Distant water crisis has lessons for Davis

By Marion Franck | From Page: A7

 
Call for study to settle if anesthesia poses risk to babies

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

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Sports

Winning close games is the key for DHS softballers

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Aggie men get a bounce-back win at Cal Poly

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
The mystery continues: lowly Gauchos upset UCD women

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Devils get a soccer win despite finishing woes

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Sports briefs: Razo throws well as Aggies get a baseball win

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Defending champion Blue Devils have diamond holes to fill

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Republic FC falls to storied New York Cosmos

By Evan Ream | From Page: B10

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Features

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Arts

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Business

Yolo Federal Credit Union honored for supporting business education

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

 
Online store will celebrate, mock People’s Republic of Davis

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A10 | Gallery

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Obituaries

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Comics

Comics: Sunday, March 1, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B8