Sunday, September 21, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
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Bob Dunning: All the news that’s fit to print

BobDunning2W

By
From page A2 | April 01, 2014 |

I left our drought-stricken town over the weekend to see if I could learn how human beings have managed to survive on the Mojave Desert, where no measurable rainfall has been recorded for the past 984 years, but when I returned home I learned that all hell had broken loose in my old hometown.
It’s hard to believe that so much could happen in such a short period of time, but here — in bullet-point fashion — are the highlights of this news-heavy weekend.

Davis City Councilman Brett Lee has been appointed to fill the remaining term of disgraced California Sen. Leland Yee after Democratic party leaders concluded they needed an “honest man” in their ranks.

City leaders are so confident that the Fifth Street Road Diet is the wave of the future that they plan to turn the entire length of Eighth Street into a pedestrian-only mall, with pizza parlors and frozen yogurt shops lining the former roadway.

The city of Woodland, with more millionaires per capita than any other city in Yolo County, has agreed to pay the entire cost of the Sacramento River surface water project because it fears residents of East Davis won’t be able to afford the new rates and will move to Woodland en masse.

The Davis school board has announced through newly hired Superintendent Julie Crawford that henceforth all “personnel” matters will be handled in open session and members of the press can rifle through the district’s financial files any time they please.

The city of Davis, admitting that Jose Granda is indeed right, has rescinded its proposed “half-cent” sales tax increase and will instead be asking voters to approve a 10 “percent” levy on all sales items, including groceries.

Peyton Manning, still smarting from being voted Least Valuable Player in Super Bowl XXXXIVXXCMVX, will announce his candidacy for Davis City Council, promising to “intercept” any bad legislation his colleagues come up with.

Legendary coach Jim Sochor has agreed to take over the Davis High School boys volleyball program on an “interim” basis with plans to introduce the West Coast offense.

The NCAA has invited the Aggie men’s basketball team to the Final Four and dropped Kentucky after Davis gym rat Rich Rifkin discovered that during the regular season UCD beat Air Force, Air Force beat Wyoming, Wyoming beat San Diego State, San Diego State beat Kansas, Kansas beat Oklahoma, Oklahoma beat Texas A&M, Texas A&M beat Arkansas, and Arkansas beat Kentucky.

Dan Wolk has dropped his bid for the California Assembly to become offensive coordinator at Stanford.

Using power of eminent domain, the Davis City Council has declared all water in Stonegate Lake and Lake Alhambra to be public property, invites all citizens to a “community swim” on Saturday.

The Sacramento Kings have announced they will be moving to Knights Landing and playing regular-season games on the outdoor baskets at the former Grafton Elementary School. “We’re tired of playing in front of so many empty seats,” declares new Kings owner Vivek Ranadive. “Grafton doesn’t have any seats, so we won’t have to worry about that anymore.”

Davis Downtown votes to make the entire city alcohol-free.

After rigorous psychological testing, Linda Katehi has been selected for NASA’s “Chancellor in Space” program and will immediately leave for Houston to begin a six-month training program.

UC Davis apiculturalists have revealed that the mysterious condition known as colony collapse disorder has led to the death of 140,000 hives in California, plus The Sacramento Bee.

Union Pacific has announced that beginning immediately, rail cars coming through Davis will carry only free-trade coffee beans, Blue Diamond Smokehouse almonds, Coors Light and popcorn-flavored Jelly Bellys. “If there’s an accident, we’ll have one big party in downtown Davis,” noted UP spokesman I.M. Railman, speaking on condition of anonymity.

In a 4-0 vote, Davis school board has named Rob Peterson to fill the seat vacated by former trustee Nancy Peterson.

And that’s all the news that’s fit to print, plus all the news that fits, on this First Day of April in the Year of Our Lord 2014.

— Reach Bob Dunning at bdunning@davisenterprise.net

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News

Elementary school counselors: necessary, but poorly funded

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
 
Bet Haverim hosts High Holy Day services

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1

 
Driver arrested for DUI after Saturday morning crash

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

 
Teams assess damage as wildfire burns

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
Help raise funds for juvenile diabetes cure

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Jewelry, art for sale at Senior Center

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Davis Community Meals needs cooks

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Da Vinci awarded $38,000 for restorative justice program

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A4

 
Hawk Hill trip planned Sept. 30

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

UC campus chancellors granted hefty pay raises

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4

 
Send kids to camp!

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Outdoor yoga marathon celebrates community

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

 
Wise words

By Sue Cockrell | From Page: A12

 
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Forum

Awareness is key to this fight

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Where is this going?

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A6

We’re living in the Golden State of emergency

By Debra DeAngelo | From Page: A6

 
Options for protection come with flu season

By The Associated Press | From Page: A6

Are we there yet? Not enough hours in the day to goof off

By Tanya Perez | From Page: A6Comments are off for this post

 
Building something at schools’ HQ

By Our View | From Page: A10

Don’t sell city greenbelt

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
Paso Fino project is flawed

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

Paso Fino — it’s not worth it

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
Archer will get my vote

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

It’s time for Davis Scouts to stand up for what is right

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

 
Mike Keefe cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

Maybe David can beat Goliath again

By Lynne Nittler | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
Speak out

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

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Sports

DHS gets on its Morse to beat Edison

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
JV Blue Devils drop low-scoring affair

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B2

 
Republic FC’s fairy tale season continues

By Evan Ream | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Wire briefs: Giants rally falls short in San Diego

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Four local swimmers qualify for Olympic Trials

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3

UCD roundup: Aggie men pound Pomona-Pitzer in the pool

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B4

 
‘We’re a way better team’ than record, says UCD’s Shaffer

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B4 | Gallery

Davis 15-year-old making a splash in European F4 series

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
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Features

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Arts

‘Ladies Foursome’ adds shows

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
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Business

UCD grad’s startup earns kudos at TechCrunch event

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

 
Styles on target for November debut

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A7

MBI hires VP of marketing

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
Taylor Morrison unveils new Woodland community next weekend

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

Rob White: What is an ‘innovation center’?

By Rob White | From Page: A9

 
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Obituaries

Carol L. Walsh

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
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Comics

Comics: Sunday, September 21, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B8