Sunday, October 19, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Bob Dunning: All the news that’s fit to print

BobDunning2W

By
From page A2 | April 01, 2014 |

I left our drought-stricken town over the weekend to see if I could learn how human beings have managed to survive on the Mojave Desert, where no measurable rainfall has been recorded for the past 984 years, but when I returned home I learned that all hell had broken loose in my old hometown.
It’s hard to believe that so much could happen in such a short period of time, but here — in bullet-point fashion — are the highlights of this news-heavy weekend.

Davis City Councilman Brett Lee has been appointed to fill the remaining term of disgraced California Sen. Leland Yee after Democratic party leaders concluded they needed an “honest man” in their ranks.

City leaders are so confident that the Fifth Street Road Diet is the wave of the future that they plan to turn the entire length of Eighth Street into a pedestrian-only mall, with pizza parlors and frozen yogurt shops lining the former roadway.

The city of Woodland, with more millionaires per capita than any other city in Yolo County, has agreed to pay the entire cost of the Sacramento River surface water project because it fears residents of East Davis won’t be able to afford the new rates and will move to Woodland en masse.

The Davis school board has announced through newly hired Superintendent Julie Crawford that henceforth all “personnel” matters will be handled in open session and members of the press can rifle through the district’s financial files any time they please.

The city of Davis, admitting that Jose Granda is indeed right, has rescinded its proposed “half-cent” sales tax increase and will instead be asking voters to approve a 10 “percent” levy on all sales items, including groceries.

Peyton Manning, still smarting from being voted Least Valuable Player in Super Bowl XXXXIVXXCMVX, will announce his candidacy for Davis City Council, promising to “intercept” any bad legislation his colleagues come up with.

Legendary coach Jim Sochor has agreed to take over the Davis High School boys volleyball program on an “interim” basis with plans to introduce the West Coast offense.

The NCAA has invited the Aggie men’s basketball team to the Final Four and dropped Kentucky after Davis gym rat Rich Rifkin discovered that during the regular season UCD beat Air Force, Air Force beat Wyoming, Wyoming beat San Diego State, San Diego State beat Kansas, Kansas beat Oklahoma, Oklahoma beat Texas A&M, Texas A&M beat Arkansas, and Arkansas beat Kentucky.

Dan Wolk has dropped his bid for the California Assembly to become offensive coordinator at Stanford.

Using power of eminent domain, the Davis City Council has declared all water in Stonegate Lake and Lake Alhambra to be public property, invites all citizens to a “community swim” on Saturday.

The Sacramento Kings have announced they will be moving to Knights Landing and playing regular-season games on the outdoor baskets at the former Grafton Elementary School. “We’re tired of playing in front of so many empty seats,” declares new Kings owner Vivek Ranadive. “Grafton doesn’t have any seats, so we won’t have to worry about that anymore.”

Davis Downtown votes to make the entire city alcohol-free.

After rigorous psychological testing, Linda Katehi has been selected for NASA’s “Chancellor in Space” program and will immediately leave for Houston to begin a six-month training program.

UC Davis apiculturalists have revealed that the mysterious condition known as colony collapse disorder has led to the death of 140,000 hives in California, plus The Sacramento Bee.

Union Pacific has announced that beginning immediately, rail cars coming through Davis will carry only free-trade coffee beans, Blue Diamond Smokehouse almonds, Coors Light and popcorn-flavored Jelly Bellys. “If there’s an accident, we’ll have one big party in downtown Davis,” noted UP spokesman I.M. Railman, speaking on condition of anonymity.

In a 4-0 vote, Davis school board has named Rob Peterson to fill the seat vacated by former trustee Nancy Peterson.

And that’s all the news that’s fit to print, plus all the news that fits, on this First Day of April in the Year of Our Lord 2014.

— Reach Bob Dunning at bdunning@davisenterprise.net

Comments

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News

Housing First pilot project targets West Sac homeless

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

 
Return to sender: MRAP removal options go to council

By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
$18.75M grant aims to build global food security

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Howzat! Cricket tradition grows in Davis

By Lily Holmes | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Evidentiary hearing set for man shot by CHP

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
For the record

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

Cop witnesses car-pedestrian collision

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Hawaii hit by winds, rain as hurricane veers west

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Guns to be discharged at police range

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3

 
DHS ski and snowboard swap set on Nov. 9

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Wolk sets ‘Morning with the Mayor’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Safe viewing of solar eclipse planned

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

Fill the Boot for the hungry

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3

 
Quiz Master Gardeners at open house

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Celebrate origami at Davis library

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Firefighters on the town

By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A3

 
Donate used books at Co-op

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Love-life tips on ‘Heart to Heart’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Volunteers sought to chip in on parks cleanup

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Crash victim ID’d as Woodland man

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A3

 
Senior Computer Club hears from county official

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Apply by Friday for Biberstein grants

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Esparto home targeted in three-city pot bust

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A4

 
Wolk earns perfect score from senior advocates

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

UCD celebrates 50 years of global agricultural success

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Special education information night scheduled

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A11

Be on the lookout for tagged Monarch butterflies

By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A16 | Gallery

 
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Forum

Old news disturbs the present

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Take time to reach out for help

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: A8

Are we there yet? Yik Yakking the day away

By Tanya Perez | From Page: A8

 
A bionic hand with feeling

By The Associated Press | From Page: A8

Teach cyclists to obey laws

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A14

 
Proposed lights harm kids

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A14

Ain’t Snow Mountain high enough

By Our View | From Page: A14

 
Let’s take Davis’ energy future seriously

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A14

Be careful cycling on Fifth

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A15

 
Water theater isn’t fun

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A15

Elect Granda to board

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A15

 
Yes on Prop. 47: reasonable changes to curb recidivism, save money

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A15

No on Prop. 47: an end to safe neighborhoods, and more victims

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A15

 
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Sports

 
Devils stick it to Chico, cancer

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Vargas emerges from crowded Aggie WR corps

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Competitive Aggies fall at No. 6/7 Montana

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

JV Devils fall to Franklin

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

 
Niemi leads Sharks to win

By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

UCD roundup: Big crowd sees Aggies nip Guachos

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery

 
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Features

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Arts

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Business

Davis is a temple for fine beverages

By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Arcadia Biosciences earns spot on global innovation list

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

 
35 employers will be at West Sac job fair

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Rob White: Building an economy on innovation

By Rob White | From Page: A6

 
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Obituaries

Peggy Belenis Swisher

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Sadie Louise Barga

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Morgan Wheeler

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
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Comics

Comics: Sunday, October 19, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B8