APOLOGIES TO PBR LOVERS EVERYWHERE … my friend Kent, while offering faint praise for a recent column on wood burning, says “I don’t understand why you felt the need to malign those of us who enjoy regularly ‘standing on the front lawn in our underwear waving a 40-ounce bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon.’ ” …

Indeed, I did mention folks in their underwear waving 40-ounce bottles of PBR, but I didn’t know Kent counted himself among those folks … adds Kent: “Could you get some clarification on whether the smoke nuisance ordinance covers ‘party smoke’ or not?” … depends on whether it was a medicinal party, Kent …

“Several years ago when we shared a backyard fence with several college party condos, clouds of ‘medicinal’ smoke frequently wafted over. Those college kids weren’t burning wood, but I would call it a bit of a nuisance to keep our young kids off the backyard swing and inside to ensure they didn’t insist on eating a few bags of Cheetos and watch SpongeBob all day while the smoke dissipated.” … if you’re a “reasonable” person as defined by the smoke ordinance, Kent, you can complain about smoke of any kind … but it’s probably best to put the PBR away before the Fireplace Force arrives …

As I understand the law, medicinal smoke may be legal unless the green vegetable matter is being carried in a single-use plastic bag …

SPEAKING OF REASONABLE PEOPLE … one especially critical reader interrupted my Thanksgiving dinner to say my repeated references to “reasonable” people as mentioned in the smoke ordinance proves I think people who complain about smoke are not reasonable … quite the contrary …

The Davis City Council is the one that put the “reasonable” requirement into the ordinance allowing people to complain about a neighbor’s smoke … I think that’s a silly requirement … but if anything, it indicates the city, at least, thinks some of these complaints might be coming from “unreasonable” people … otherwise, why put that “reasonable” requirement into the legislation? …

MOTTO MADNESS MARCHES ON … Greg at sbcglobal.net has decided to take a stab at the long-running Official City of Davis Motto Contest … “Davis, where we either ban it, tax it or try to shove it down your throat because we know better.” … I’ll pass it along to the Large Judging Body, Greg, but best not to give up your day job just yet …

For those who wonder how the contest is progressing, the current leader is “Davis — More Nuts Than Winters.” …

SPEAKING OF NUTS … I spent most of my Thanksgiving Day stuffing as many nuts as possible into the turkey dressing after seeing that headline claiming that “Nuts lower risk of death from any cause” … said the story out of CNN: “You want to live longer, weigh less, fight off disease? According to a new 30-year study out of Harvard, the object of your desire is nuts.” … wow, I mean, it’s not Stanford, but if you can’t rely on Harvard, who can you rely on? …

And if they’ve been studying nut eaters for 30 years, presumably they have some pretty good data … “Dr. Jennifer Caudle explains that studies have been done over many years ‘that have suggested that nuts have decreased heart disease and things like diabetes even, and we’ve even had some mortality studies in the past.’ Dr. Caudle says researchers looked at over 118,000 people and followed them for about 30 years. Those who had seven or more servings of nuts every week had 20 percent lower risk of dying from any cause.” …

That is truly incredible news … I mean, immortality is on our doorstep … imagine having a 20 percent lower risk of dying from any cause … the clear presumption here is that some nut eaters are destined to live forever, since “any cause” can’t touch them … I’ll up my intake of cashews immediately and let you know how I feel 30 years from now …

— Reach Bob Dunning at [email protected]

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