Friday, December 26, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Bob Dunning: Change of heart? Vinny will help

BobDunning2W

By
From page A2 | February 22, 2013 |

HELP, I CHANGED MY MIND … Katie in South Davis is not the first to write and ask “I wonder if you could address how people can change their vote. I mean, if someone thought initially Measure I was a good idea, but they realize the error of their ways, how would they change their vote?” … and vice versa, I presume … fortunately for Katie and all the others who wish to change their vote in either direction, they have come to the right source …

My Cousin Vinny, who is currently in the Federal Witness Protection Program and working as a bartender in Carson City, Nev., is an expert at breaking into government buildings like the County Clerk’s Office in Woodland … all you need to do is give Vinny a copy of your signature that appears on your mail-only ballot and tell him there’s $113 million inside that envelope that you would like him to retrieve … Vinny will take care of the rest, guaranteed …

AGELESS WONDER … just received a letter — yes, an actual letter — from a concerned Davisite who is mad as hell at the “No on I” campaign … seems this anonymous soul didn’t like the campaign mailer that was addressed “Dear Senior Citizen” and set forth the reasons why a Davis senior should not vote for the surface water project … writes my friend in handwriting that doesn’t leave a hint of whether it came from a man or a woman: “I’m 61 and frankly offended to receive this mailing — ‘Dear Davis Senior’ “ he/she begins … “I’m still working and certainly don’t see myself as a ‘Davis Senior.’ I haven’t yet made up my mind on how to vote, but his mailer certainly doesn’t help their case.” …

I feel your pain … I mean, AARP started sending me coupons for the “early-bird special” of mashed potatoes and Jell-O when I was 49, for crying out loud … and while I can’t imagine what it must feel like to actually be 61, I too am still working and offended when someone refers to our second-grader as my “grandson” … ouch … and never mind that I actually do have a grandson who happens to be a first-grader … have these “No on I” folks no sense of couth or uncouth? …

I think maybe we should join up and form our own political action committee: “Davis Non-Seniors Voting ‘Maybe’ on Measure I” … I promise not to mention your age in print if you don’t mention mine …

DENTIST’S DRILL HITS A NERVE … earlier this week we featured a Stockton dentist whose long-distance interest in our surface water project was a bit baffling … nevertheless, he warned us to clean up our water before we send it downstream to his chosen hometown … well, you can’t scold the residents of the Second Most Educated City in the country without someone pulling out a California river map and firing off a reply … in this case it was my friend David from the Water Streets (I am not making this up) who came up with a sharp reply …

Writes David: “The dentist from Stockton who felt compelled to pen a Measure I letter to The Enterprise should probably stick to dentistry, or at least consult an atlas.” … hard to read an atlas when you’re flossing, David … adds David the Defender of Davis: “Stockton is not downstream of Davis. Stockton is located on the lovely San Joaquin River, which amazingly enough drains the San Joaquin Valley. The Woodland-Davis project would stick our big straw in the Sacramento River, drawing whatever runs off the surface of the Sacramento Valley. The confluence of the two rivers is near Antioch, about 40 miles downstream from Stockton and a little farther downstream from the discharge point of our wastewater treatment plant on each of our respective rivers.

“Unless San Joaquin Valley cities begin drawing so much water from the San Joaquin River that it flows backward, Sacramento River water will never reach Stockton.” … ah, Davis, where there’s an expert to save the day lurking around every corner …

MANY CANDLES … one of the greatest athletes ever to grace the playing fields and courts of UC Davis, Rich Donnell, turns 80 on Saturday … seems like only yesterday I was watching Rich light up the hoop from all angles in Hickey Gym … may he have at least 80 more …

— Reach Bob Dunning at bdunning@davisenterprise.net

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