Thursday, March 26, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Bob Dunning: City gets serious about saving water

BobDunning2W

By
From page A2 | September 04, 2014 |

Taking its marching orders from the state of California’s Water Resources Control Board, the Davis City Council has put together a set of rules and regulations we all must live by.

Call it cactification, call it grassicide, call it brown-is-the-new-green, call it anything you wish. Just follow the rules and pray the cherished El Niño pays us a visit sooner rather than later.

According to Dave Ryan’s piece in Wednesday’s Enterprise, the city hopes to enforce its rules without activating the Water Police, the National Guard, the Yolo County Veterans of Foreign Wars or the much-maligned MRAP.

And remember, what the council has issued here is a mandate, not a suggestion. Break the law at your own risk.

From this day forward, Davis restaurants must not serve a glass of water unless a customer requests it. They are, however, still allowed to serve multiple glasses of wine, which utilizes 40 gallons of water for each 4-ounce glass produced.

If a patron requests more than one glass of water during the course of a meal, the restaurant manager must immediately search under the table to be certain the customer is not dumping the water into a large metal bucket to take home by dark of night.

Furthermore, the Ice Bucket Challenge is now illegal in the city of Davis. Similarly, if the Aggie football team beats Sac State in the Causeway Classic come November, dumping Gatorade on the head coach’s head will be forbidden.

Outdoor watering between 9 a.m. and 6 p.m. is against the law unless you work the night shift at McDonald’s and cannot water at any other time of the day. A note from your employer is required to institute this exemption.

Outdoor watering is restricted to three days a week, but the lack of Water Police means self-reporting of violations is mandatory. Catholic water wasters may go to confession instead.

You must also wash vehicles with a hand-held bucket or a hose with a shut-off nozzle. A hand-held Budweiser is permitted while washing a vehicle for those residents over the age of 21.

If you’re running a Davis hotel, your guests must be given the option to turn down daily linen and towel changes. They can also turn down the turn-down service. Whether hotels can charge the same amount to patrons who do not request linen and towel service is unclear.

It’s also strictly forbidden for residents to water their petunias in the rain. As silly as this may sound, it actually might be the most-broken rule of all, given that most people water in the middle of the night and might be unaware that a storm has snuck into town while they’re sleeping.

Finally, almond growers will be permitted to water only that portion of their crop being produced for local consumption, a farm-to-fork mandate that will save untold gallons of water.

Of course, the more you conserve, the more likely it is you’ll trigger a whopping drought surcharge that will be added to your monthly water bill. Not paying the surcharge is also against the law.

For its part, the city promises to actually start paying for the water it uses and to stop wasting water in ways that would land the rest of us in the slammer.

The city is also planning a massive “Get Out of Town” event whereby all 65,000 residents of Davis will travel en masse to Woodland and spend an entire weekend there.

City staff estimates that by itself “Get Out of Town” will drop water use in town by approximately 7 percent per month.
It’s a new day in town. Get used to it.

Or else.

— Entries to the Contest to Replace the Above-Pictured Columnist are due by 5 p.m. Monday. Entries, between 400 and 800 words, should be emailed to [email protected] and should include a short biography and mug shot of the author.

Comments

comments

.

News

 
CSU trustees name new president at Sac State

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1

Stacie Frerichs named Jay Gerber Award recipient

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1

 
UC Davis lung cancer surgery meets Twitter

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Summit searches for agricultural solutions

By Felicia Alvarez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Bob Dunning: Everything has a price, or it should

By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

Silicon Valley gender discrimination lawsuit goes to jury

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

 
Police call kidnap a hoax, now can’t find California woman

By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

Former Davis man gets 9-year term for sword attack

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

 
Police still seeking owners of stolen bikes

By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2 | Gallery

Property-tax penalties kick in after April 10

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

 
Child abuse conference returns to Davis

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

Arts Centers offers portrait-drawing class

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

 
Parenting class meets Tuesdays

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

Apply for library parcel tax exemption by June 1

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Posthumous video supports aid-in-dying bill

By The Associated Press | From Page: A4 | Gallery

State Senate moves on $1 billion water plan

By The Associated Press | From Page: A5

 
.

Forum

This family seems lost

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Creating the university of the 21st Century

By LInda Katehi | From Page: A8

Farmers Market went hog-wild

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

 
Trade deal deserves full scrutiny

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

Novruz should become a holiday

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A8

 
.

Sports

Late surge sends Sheldon softballers past DHS

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Davis girls thrash Grant on the pitch

By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

UCD footballers to face Cal in 2019

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Blue Devil boys look great on the links

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Devils swimmers find wins against Franklin

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

 
Youth soccer: Defense carries Davis Dilemma to a third-place finish

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Youth roundup: DART swimmers shine at national championships

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

 
Sports briefs: Devil boys win big on the tennis court

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B12

.

Features

Point of Brew: About the beer and bicycling universe

By Michael Lewis | From Page: A9

 
.

Arts

Max Raabe returns with elegant songs from the ’20s and ’30s

By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
DMTC hosting its sixth annual poker tournament

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

‘Arsenic and Old Lace’ makes for madcap evening

By Debra DeAngelo | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

.

Comics