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Bob Dunning

Bob Dunning: Further dispatches from Duck Country

By From page A2 | August 15, 2014

KEEPING OREGON SQUEAKY GREEN … folks in the Beaver State are deadly serious about keeping trash out of the forests, the beaches and the vast high desert on the east side of the Cascades …

Evidence of this can be found on a number of roadside signs, warning of a whopping $6,250 “maximum” fine for littering … that’s enough to make you drive with the windows up so absolutely nothing accidentally blows out the car windows … worse yet, if you’re driving a car with California plates, Oregon judges are likely to throw the book at you …

SPEAKING OF POLLUTION … there is currently a proposal before the Oregon Legislature to ban all smoking on the state’s beaches, aimed more at cigarette butts in the sand than smoke in the air … even the left-leaning Oregonian has come out against the measure, claiming dog poop on the beach if more disgusting than the occasional cigarette butt, and massive beach bonfires — a sacred tradition in Oregon — more hazardous to one’s health than breathing in second-hand cigarette smoke …

PAPER OR PLASTIC … in the small resort town of Seaside — Oregon’s smallish version of Santa Cruz — grocery stores still offer paper or plastic and don’t charge for either, despite the fact Seaside boasts more seagulls per capita than any city in the United States …

They do warn, however, that we shouldn’t feed the seagulls … so far, no seagulls have appeared with Walmart bags over their heads … then again, with the strength of Fred Meyer in this region, there’s not a Walmart in sight …

SPEAKING OF BIRDS … my original hometown of Portland is so disgusted with “droppings” from ornery geese making its public parks unappealing and unappetizing that it’s considering hiring a pack of dogs to “humanely” chase the geese away … how a dog can act like a human is not explained, but in Oregon, apparently, anything is possible …

Maybe the folks at UCD who are in charge of the sludge that passes as a “lake” near Mrak Hall ought to take a look at what Portland is proposing …

HOT STUFF … while Davis has enjoyed a fairly ordinary summer temperature wise, the southern Oregon city of Medford suffered through 13 days of 100 degrees or higher in July alone … so quit complaining …

THERE’S ALWAYS A LOCAL ANGLE … the front-page headline in The Oregonian one day last week said “UO president resigns after only 2 years.” … the connection being that University of Oregon president — now former president — Mike Gottfredson grew up in Davis and rose quickly through academia, serving as provost at UC Irvine before becoming the Head Duck in June of 2012 …

The fact his resignation was effective “immediately” stunned many observers, but most insiders gave him high marks despite his short tenure … with a $940,000 severance package, Gottfredson might be able to afford an East Davis starter home should he ever decide to return to his hometown …

JUST DUCKY … in describing where Gottfredson grew up, The Oregonian said “Davis, Calif.” is “a college town somewhat like Eugene.” … which is somewhat accurate but for the fact UC Davis has twice as many students as the U of O, Eugene is twice as big as Davis and gets twice as much rain, and their football stadium is five times bigger than our football stadium …

Other than that, we’re practically sister cities, including the fact that Oregonians in other cities lovingly refer to Oregon’s second largest city as the People’s Republic of Eugene …

— Reach Bob Dunning at [email protected]

Bob Dunning

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