Friday, November 21, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Bob Dunning: Granted, this truly is a win-win idea

BobDunning2W

By
From page A2 | March 21, 2013 |

You know, every now and then you come across a public servant so dedicated to helping our town out of the self-imposed financial pickle we find ourselves in that you just have to stop and give credit where credit is due.

Such an individual is my friend Jim, who instead of lamenting the monstrous price tag attached to the effort to bring Sacramento River water to thirsty Davisites, has set about devising a plan to singlehandedly raise the cash involved so individual citizens won’t have to foot the bill.

Jim’s been working night and day on the plan since just after 9 p.m. on Election Day when it became clear the surface water project had been approved by the handful of folks in this town who bothered to vote.

“I have been thinking about a way to get 50, 100 or maybe even 150 million dollars to help fund the $113 million (LOL) water project,” Jim begins, apparently believing that the actual cost of the project is a moving target.

“Before you laugh,” Jim goes on, “please recognize that over my career I have been a reviewer for many research proposals to different government agencies.”

Are you the guy who turned down my million-dollar grant request to study what activities Davis toads actually engage in while they’re inside our famous toad tunnel?

“I want no credit for this idea, nor commission,” Jim goes on with more humility than our new pope. “I hereby assign all rights to you (see photo above), although a 1 percent thank-you gift, say $500,000, would not be refused.”

The check’s in the mail, Jim.

“So here is the idea. Blind-blind studies on health issues are enormously expensive and usually have very limited populations. But in Davis, we are about to provide ‘clean’ water (our City Council has assured us of this) to part of the population all the time, to part of the population part of the time, and to part of the population none of the time.”

I’m beginning to get your drift here.

“No one has been told which population is which (might have messed up the vote), thus we have inadvertently succeeded in producing a truly blind-blind study, usually a very difficult task.”

I can see UC Davis researchers in all sorts of fields snapping to attention even as we speak.

“Also, it is almost impossible under normal circumstances to get the authorities to approve providing a bad substance, ‘unclean’ water in this case, to a part of the population. This is a fantastic opportunity.”

I’m getting more excited by the minute.

“So we go to the National Institutes of Health (NIH) and ask for $150 million to study the health of the different groups in the study population, which is the whole city of Davis. We might have to exclude Village Homes and others who figure out how to opt out of the water project, although they could be a separate group in the population.

“Since the City Council was able to convince 54 percent of the 39 percent who voted that this project was going to provide ‘clean’ water, surely they can convince the five or so NIH referees” to approve the study.

Wow, this is really great stuff. Not only can we compare “clean water” and “dirty water” Davisites, we can compare Little Leaguers to soccer players, GATE children to non-GATE children, meat eaters to vegetarians, council members to school board members, longtime community members to newcomers, East Davisites to West Davisites, and Democrats to Republicans, all based on their varying uses of clean and dirty water. Then again, there might not be enough Republicans in Davis to do a scientifically sound study of that category.

We also can study folks who work on campus, but live in Davis, drinking UCD well water by day but brushing their teeth with Sacramento River water at night.

We can study the effects of differing water consumption habits on tooth decay, male-pattern baldness, excessive shedding by the family dog, coyote abatement, town-gown relations and so much more.

Plus, if it’s a government grant, there’s bound to be some graft and corruption along the way, which means Jim and I will be able to collect some sort of whistleblower money as well.

I don’t know about you, Jim, but I’m already looking at property on the Oregon coast.

— Reach Bob Dunning at bdunning@davisenterprise.net

Comments

comments

.

News

UC regents approve 5% tuition increases

By The Associated Press | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
 
A new home for the holidays?

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
Workshop will answer financial aid questions

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

 
 
Sierra Club calendars on sale Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Explorit: Lecture illuminates state water bond

By Lisa Justice | From Page: A3

 
Apply now to take Master Gardener training

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Yolobus will reroute Saturday morning for Turkey Trot

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Help feed the hungry at Saturday’s food drive

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

Volunteers sought to advocate for kids

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Village Homes gets crafty

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
.

Forum

Nowhere to go, nothing to do

By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

 
Davis voices concerns over new oil-by-rail proposal

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

Cheers and Jeers: Katehi front and center

By Our View | From Page: A10

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

Council misses an opportunity

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
Together we can do so much

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

Have you read this book?

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

 
We DO have a water shortage

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

.

Sports

UCD men get to 2-0

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Silveria has been there through thick and thin

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

 
Whose seniors will go out in style at Causeway Classic No. 61?

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

LBSU takes down UCD in matchup of Big West’s best

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Wire sports briefs: Kings cruise past Chicago

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Raiders beat K.C. to snap a 16-game skid

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3 | Gallery

Aggie women start 4-game homestand Saturday at 11 a.m.

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8

 
.

Features

.

Arts

 
The Purple Ones to play tribute to Prince

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

‘The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1′ fails to catch fire

By Derrick Bang | From Page: A11 | Gallery

 
Wealth of Nations show is Saturday

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

Davis Feminist Film Festival accepting submissions

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A11

 
Come ‘Home for the Holidays’ and benefit school arts

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

Founding pastor of UCC’s now-famous painting on display

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A12 | Gallery

 
.

Business

Automakers debut key models at L.A. Auto Show

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7 | Gallery

 
.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Friday, November 21, 2014

By Creator | From Page: A9

 
.

Real Estate Review

Featured Listing

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER1

Professional Services Directory

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER2

Lyon Real Estate

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER3

RE/Max Gold

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER4

Kim Eichorn

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER5

Joe Kaplan

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER6

Melrina A Maggiora

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER6

Lennar Homes

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER7

Marcelo Campos

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER7

Team Traverso

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER8

Tracy Harris

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER8

Yolo FCU

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER8

Travis Credit Union

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER9

Coldwell Banker

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER10

Diane Lardelli

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER12

Jamie Madison

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER12

Ciana Wallace

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER12

Wells Fargo Home Mortgage

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER13

Malek Baroody

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER13

Julie Partain

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER14

Coldwell Banker

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER15

Cynthia Gerber

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER17

Karen Waggoner

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER17

Jamie Madison & Associates

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER17

Dana Hawkins & Caitlin McCalla

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER18

Chris Snow

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER18

Open House Map

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER19

F1rst Street Real Estate

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: RER20