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Bob Dunning

Bob Dunning: Hey, we all think we’re ‘reasonable’

By From page A2 | November 26, 2013

DON’T LIGHT TONIGHT … John, taking note of the “Don’t Light Tonight” alert declared for this very day, wonders about that new wood-burning ordinance that allows a “reasonable person” who is bothered by smoke to complain to the city’s crack Fireplace Force … “Is there a legal definition of ‘reasonable person?’ ” John asks … yes, indeed, there is … a “reasonable” person is defined as “anyone not acting in an unreasonable manner” … hope that clears things up for you, John …

EVEN MORE UNREASONABLE QUESTIONS … Vernette at gmail.com says “I guess we will have to post on our house a notice of the type of fireplace or wood-burning stove.” … won’t do you any good, Vernette … the Fireplace Force has its ways to determine what’s going on inside your house, so you’d better watch what you’re smoking in that fireplace …

REASON ENOUGH … Glen notes that “Alan Pryor thinks he and his cohorts are reasonable; I think I’m reasonable, we all know you’re reasonable. So who’s the judge, jury and jailer when a dispute arises?” … the Fireplace Force has been empowered to set up a Kangaroo Court on your front lawn, so watch out or they’ll give you 15 to life on the spot … adds Glen: “Why should EPA Phase II generated smoke get a free pass, but smoke from my EPA Phase I appliance or an open-hearth fireplace doesn’t? Wood smoke is wood smoke.” … you’re making way too much sense, my friend … some might even conclude you are a reasonable person …

I’ve decided to solve the problem once and for all by erecting a giant shield all the way around my chimney that allows the smoke to be blocked from view until it’s high up in the branches of my city-mandated front-yard tree and well on its way to Dixon …

A WELL-DESERVED BREAK … J.T. at gmail.com is reacting a bit negatively to that item in the paper informing us that “City Hall will be closed from Nov. 22 to Nov. 29 to celebrate Thanksgiving.” … don’t complain, John, that nice little bonus vacation includes members of the Fireplace Force, so burn, baby, burn … “With that amount of time off they could celebrate Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year’s and MLK.” … you forgot the Winter Solstice, a big, big day for many of your friends and neighbors …

HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN … yes, not only did our Aggie football heroes finish with two straight wins, including a rout of the dreaded and dreary Hornets last Saturday, but four Big Sky teams were selected for the Football Championship Subdivision (I-AA) playoffs, the most of any conference in the country … better yet, one of the Big Sky teams selected, Southern Utah, was drubbed, 21-3, by the Aggies not so long ago … will Aggie Stadium be hosting the first playoff game in its short history one day soon? … it’s certainly beginning to look that way … and while we’re at it, watch out for Big Sky champion Eastern Washington … I’ll put my hard-earned money on the Eagles to win it all come January …

— Reach Bob Dunning at [email protected]

Bob Dunning

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