Sunday, March 29, 2015

Bob Dunning: Just be glad we don’t want fingerprints


From page A2 | July 29, 2014 |

SO LONG, ANON … so, The Enterprise now has a new policy whereby if you wish to comment on an online story or column or op-ed, you must own up in some fashion as to who you actually are … in other words, no more anonymous potshots from folks who don’t have the courage of their convictions … or at least the ability to spell their own names …

The cries of foul, anonymous of course, are being heard all over town from folks who just love to let it rip, without consequence, in online forums, saying stuff they’d never dare say to you face to face … the most frequent complaint I hear is that “I have to live in this town,” and “co-workers” might not like my opinions if I have to sign them … pity, pity, pity … you’ll get little sympathy from the Above-Pictured Columnist, who has been signing his opinions for the past 45 years — he started in kindergarten — and, last time I checked, he had to live in this town, too …

SOCKING IT TO SOCCER … my friend Rick, who is not afraid to sign his name, referred me to a contest seeking advice on how to make soccer more appealing to Americans … the winner, from a guy named “Roy” who lives in Ohio, was to shorten the game by 89 minutes … whether that includes all that extra time nobody understands is unclear …

Another, from a “Richard” in Philadelphia, suggests letting all substitutes enter the game driving monster trucks … for me, the solution is to pull the goalies and allow just two players per side … plus award six points per goal, just like in football … Germany 42, Brazil 6, now that’s a game worth watching …

OILY PROBLEMS … Bill at writes to say he stopped at his favorite auto parts store to buy some cans of fuel cleaner … “They were out of paper bags and banned from having plastic,” Bill notes … “These cans were slippery, and one of the three could have ruptured if it fell. How about leaks on the way home? Even taking a cotton bag would not help with ‘seeping’ automotive products. And, who wants to carry food and gas additives in the same bag?” … points well taken …

“I am all for protecting the birds, but the reality of the whole issue is that grocers and others no longer have bag costs. What a gift to them. I’m not suggesting that an employee of Nugget found that photo of the alien seagull, what a nifty way to reduce retail costs.” … last time I checked, the city claims the dime charge for paper bags is to “reimburse” merchants for the cost of the bag … maybe so, but shouldn’t it be up to the merchant to decide what needs to be reimbursed and what doesn’t? … the next thing you know the city will be telling Safeway how much it must charge for mayonnaise …

LUCKY LADY … Linda from the Westside forwards a photo of a plastic Walmart bag (see photo) as proof positive that “the bag ban in Davis is working because the bag that blew into my pool is not from a Davis store.” … when I suggested to Linda that the culprit was clearly from Woodland, she noted that she actually lives much closer to the Walmart in Dixon …

And before all you water wizards start sneering at Linda for having a backyard swimming pool, just remember she’s no longer watering the lawn …

— Reach Bob Dunning at [email protected]





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Comics: Sunday, March 29, 2015

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