Wednesday, January 28, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Bob Dunning: Oh dear, John’s letter doesn’t duck the issue

BobDunning2W

By
From page A2 | November 24, 2013 |

I don’t know about you, but my favorite part of the newspaper is easily the letters to the editor. As I’ve pointed out several times before, I get a little bonus in my paycheck when my name is mentioned in any such letter, twice as much if it’s used negatively.

“Dunning’s on another planet,” said the headline over one recent letter from a disgruntled chap I’ll call “John.” That certainly counts as a mention, but we’ll have to read further to see whether the “planet” reference is negative.

“Well, well, well,” John begins cleverly, “looks like Dunning laid a goose egg in his prognostication of the Stanford/Oregon game.”

Fair enough. In my weekly football forecast a couple of weeks back I did indeed suggest that Oregon would pretty much fold, spindle and mutilate Stanford.

Interestingly, in the 44 years I’ve been issuing this weekly fearless forecast during the football season, I’ve received my fair share of good-natured ribbing for an errant pick, but never have I seen someone take his criticism to the level of a letter to the editor.

Maybe I should put a disclaimer on the picks that says “For entertainment purposes only.”

Then again, maybe John is a proud Stanford alum — aren’t they all? — who thinks it’s a mortal sin to pick against the Cardinal, which has that silly “Tree” as a mascot.

The problem here is that John has a way with words and he doesn’t mince any of them. Let’s just say it’s highly likely he has more initials behind his name than I do.

He goes on to accurately quote every word of my Oregon-Stanford forecast, which ended with “There have been only a handful of teams in college football history as deep and talented as these (Oregon) Ducks. Stanford is capable, but Oregon is on another planet.”

Picking up on the intergalactic theme without missing a beat, John notes: “Another planet is right, and that is where Dunning must have been when he made this boneheaded call.”

Okay, “boneheaded” is one of those words specified in my most recent contract that allows me to take a week off for psychological counseling on the Hawaiian island of my choice.

Other forbidden words articulated in the contract are dumbheaded, dunderheaded, cheddarheaded and headed for trouble. John, sadly, avoided all of those.

Looking backward with 20-20 vision, it was indeed boneheaded to pick Oregon (a 26-20 loss for the Ducks), but it’s interesting to note that I didn’t see anywhere in the paper where John picked Stanford  before the game was played.

In contrast to John’s pointed remarks, let me share with you a private message I received from one Dan Wolk, yet another proud Stanford grad and ardent college football fan.

Nicely integrating Stanford’s win into a hot Davis issue, Dan wrote simply “As we know from the Cannery discussion, trees are powerful things. 26-20.”

Boom. Pow. Ouch. Much more effective words than “boneheaded.”

Dan did dig the knife a bit deeper with a P.S. that asked “Know of any nice hotels in Pasadena?”

You get the picture. This Wolk kid knows how to get his point across without drawing too much blood.

But speaking of boneheaded, if John is really worried about my forecasting prowess, I list my season record every week, and by my count I’ve been wrong 78 times already this fall, including the boneheaded Oregon pick. So have at it, John. I expect at least 77 more letters to the editor.

Truth be told, if I could accurately forecast every game, I’d be living in Reno, not Davis.

Fortunately for me, my bookie was out of town the night of the Stanford-Oregon debacle and I still have the rent money I would have bet on the Ducks.

Still, taking John’s criticism to heart, I demonstrated my fast-learner skills the next weekend by vowing never to pick against Stanford again. Yes, I took the Cardinal over USC. Somehow USC won, 20-17, tossing me back into the “boneheaded” category once again.

But wait, John isn’t through with me. Switching gears like a Maserati on a mountain road, John moves from football to fluoride as he claims “After you hear what I am going to tell you about what folks at the American Public Health Association annual meeting in Boston this past week had to say about Dunning and his chatter on fluoride, you’ll know that Dunning has been inhabiting another planet!”

Wow, what a coincidence. My just-signed contract, which runs three pages longer than the Affordable Care Act, specifically mentions the substantial extra compensation I am to receive if my name is mentioned at the annual meeting of the American Public Health Association.

John’s letter to the editor has become a true bonanza for the Dunning household. Looks like we’ll have a merry Christmas after all.

— Reach Bob Dunning at bdunning@davisenterprise.net

Comments

comments

.

News

 
Art museum is a work of art itself

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
UC Davis doctors strike

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

CASA seeks volunteers to advocate for kids

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
Community invited to Fenocchio memorial

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

SHE to lead Center for Spiritual Living in sound healing

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3

 
Teens Take Charge program accepting applications

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
The Soup’s On for NAMI-Yolo

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Sip wines at St. James’ annual tasting

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
Kiwanis Crab, Pasta Feed benefits local charities

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Registration open for PSA Day at Davis Media Access

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Brick sales will benefit Hattie Weber Museum

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Take a hike with Tuleyome on Feb. 7

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

 
Capay Valley Almond Festival will tempt your taste buds

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Covered California enrollment events planned

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
Rebekahs’ crab feed benefits local families

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

Learn pattern darning tips at guild meeting

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
Suds for a bug: Contest is over

By Kathy Keatley Garvey | From Page: A7

CSU chancellor calls for increasing graduation rates

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

 
State fails to track billions in mental health funds

By The Associated Press | From Page: A7

.

Forum

 
It’s the final freedom

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Move past the stereotypes

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

A stunning contradiction here

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Let’s speak with accuracy

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Think again on euthanasia

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
.

Sports

 
Williams-less Gauchos will test Aggie men

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

Davis club ruggers open with nationally celebrated Jesuit on Friday

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Lady Blue Devils take care of business

By Thomas Oide | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Devil snowboarders place second in short and slushy GS

By Margo Roeckl | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
DHS ski team takes second on a déjà vu day

By Tanya Perez | From Page: B8 | Gallery

.

Features

Name droppers: Arboretum director wins leadership award

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

 
Lemon tree, very pretty: Our most local fruit?

By Dan Kennedy | From Page: A10 | Gallery

.

Arts

Granger Smith to play at The Davis Graduate

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

 
Young musicians to perform Winter Concerto Concert

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

Art science speaker series event set for Feb. 5

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

 
Red Meat, Deke Dickerson bring rockabilly honky-tonk twang to The Palms

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9 | Gallery

.

Business

.

Obituaries

Death notice: Betty J. Cogburn

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

 
.

Comics

Comics: Wednesday, January 28, 2015

By Creator | From Page: B6