Friday, August 29, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Bob Dunning: Pull out the laptop and start writing!

BobDunning2W

By
From page A2 | July 15, 2014 |

FIRST WARNING … yes, it’s nearly time for the 44th annual Contest to Replace the Above-Pictured Columnist, a yearly scam when the many writers of this town take over this space and allow me to sit on the front porch for a week or two watching the grass grow… or, in the spirit of the season, watching the grass die … while you still have a good deal of time to procrastinate, this is just one of those circle-the-date deals so the deadline doesn’t sneak up and leave you out in the cold …

The deadline is Tuesday, Sept. 2, at 5 p.m. … if you’re filing your effort from Maui, the deadline is 5 p.m. Hawaiian time … if you’re filing from New York City, it’s 2 p.m. Pacific time … essays should be between 400 and 800 words (not strictly enforced) and may be about any subject that strikes your fancy … there will be multiple winners, depending on how long I wish to sit on the front porch …

Entries should be sent to the Large Judging Body at bdunning@davisenterprise.net … entrants should include a mug shot or police booking photo, plus a short biography listing all Ph.D.s you’ve been awarded …

BAG THIS … my friend Jax at yahoo.com wants to know the chances that “cashiers/baggers will transfer germs from one customer’s reusable bag to another’s.” … could happen, I suppose … then again, you’re always at risk that the guy in front of you in line will sneeze all over your stuff … life is just full of hidden dangers … adds Jax: “It might not matter that you keep your bag clean and bleached, you’re at the mercy of all of your neighbor’s cleanliness habits.” … yet another reason to buy only what you can carry home in your cold bare hands …

EVEN MORE PRESSING PROBLEMS … Jeanne at gmail.com wants to know what she’s supposed to use to “clean up after my dog.” … well, you could train him to use the toilet, or you can take the Davis City Council’s suggestion that all Davisites walk their dogs in Woodland …

EVEN MORE READERS WRITING … John at hotmail.com notes the sign at Stebbins Cold Canyon up near Lake Berryessa that warns of “Lime Disease and Hantavirus.” … John wonders if we should stop eating limes … no, but it’s best not to buy limeade or lemonade from kids on the street corner unless they have been certified by the Yolo County Health Department …

IMPORTANT INVITATION … the good folks at the “Who’s Who Among Executives and Professionals” have notified me that this is my last chance to be included in their wonderful book that I presume will be available to me at a steeply discounted price, especially if I buy 100 copies to give to my friends and neighbors …

“We believe that in a globally connected economy, your success as a professional and your competitiveness as a company depends upon faster access to insights and resources that you can trust.” … agreed, but I’ve been so busy recently counting all the goals scored in the World Cup that I haven’t had time to answer your kind invitation … just include me in the book and I’ll try to become either an executive or a professional before it comes out …

— Reach Bob Dunning at bdunning@davisenterprise.net

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