THE DOWNTOWN GRINCH STRIKES AGAIN … one of Davis’ most popular events just before Christmas is the annual “Breakfast with Santa” sponsored by the Odd Fellows Lodge, which also includes Odd Gals among its membership … shockingly, the most recent edition of this eight-year tradition had an unfortunate consequence for several of the participants … writes a senior official of the Lodge — perhaps the Oddest Fellow of them all — “This year our Santa, one of his elves and the photographer (all volunteers) got parking tickets in downtown Davis.” … a meter-minder in a green Grinch suit, no doubt … “You would think the city would lighten up this time of year, wouldn’t you?” …

Not in a city that does not recognize Christmas, my friend … if Santa’s sleigh is parked illegally, throw the book at him … “I guess no good deed goes unpunished.” … indeed … “The Odd Fellows Lodge went ahead and reimbursed them all for the cost of the ticket. It seemed like the right thing to do.” … yes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but how are Santa and his elves going to learn proper respect for authority if they’re always getting bailed out by kind-hearted Odd Fellows? …

BAG IT … two days after being told that plastic bags had been banned in the City of St. Francis, I figured it was time to check out this bit of social engineering myself before it hits the City of All Things Right and Relevant … turns out there are, indeed, no plastic bags available, whether you’re buying a big item, a small item or something in between … and while the exact merchant-customer exchange varies from business to business, generally you’re simply asked “Would you like a bag?” and if you do, you’re charged a dime for a paper bag …

Not once did I have a merchant tell me when I said “yes” that my choice would cost me 10 cents … apparently, the merchant is required to charge you a dime instead of just bagging your items for free, as was the previous custom … the proposed Davis ordinance that continues to lurk in the shadows of City Hall contains the same requirement … on one occasion during this trip, I went foraging near our hotel for a midnight snack … I ended up with a bag of honey roasted cashews from one of those convenience/liquor stores that seem to occupy every street corner in the big city … given that it was pouring rain and I was three blocks from the hotel, I readily answered “yes” when asked if I wanted a bag for my pocket-sized bag of cashews … the clerk pulled out a giant bag like the ones Nugget regularly uses to pack your groceries … all this to protect cashews that were, ironically, packed in a plastic bag … I was charged 10 cents for the privilege of now having my plastic protected by paper …

Realizing that plastic bags can end up harming sea mammals, and further realizing that sea mammals live closer to San Francisco than to Davis, when I finished the one or two mouthfuls of cashews, I carefully folded and placed the plastic bag in my suitcase for the return trip home … I then dug an eight-foot hole in my Davis back yard and buried the plastic bag, confident that no sea mammals will ever choke on my plastic waste … unless, of course, Monticello Dam bursts and washes away all my efforts at responsible citizenship …

THERE’S ALWAYS A LOCAL ANGLE … I was minding my own business on Christmas night, reading the very excellent Science Times section of The New York Times, when I stumbled upon a piece about our very own UC Davis evolutionary biologist Jonathan Eisen … seems Eisen was featured in a piece about prominent scientists across the country and how they first became interested in science …

For Eisen, who is pictured in The Times as a shirtless young kid looking through a pair of binoculars, it was going out into the yard with a magnifying glass to “look at ants and roly-polies.” … it obviously worked well for him, even if my similar backyard experience didn’t prevent me from almost flunking both advanced biology and chemistry at good old Davis High School …

— Reach Bob Dunning at [email protected]

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