Thursday, July 31, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

Bob Dunning: So we’re *not* going to call the wind Maria?

BobDunning2W

By
From page A2 | March 26, 2014 |

A month or so ago, acting on a suggestion from a kind woman named Lois, I agreed to sponsor a “Name the North Wind” contest in honor of one of the fiercest beasts ever to invade Yolo County.

I remember as a kid having to ride my bike directly into the teeth of the Northern Menace in order to arrive in time for class at the newly opened West Davis Elementary School.

Since the school was built on the northern edge of town, nearly everyone was riding against the wind on those bitterly cold winter mornings.

Now, I’m not going to tell you the ride was uphill both ways, but it felt that way. You see, the north wind always blows hardest in the early morning, then tends to peter out in the afternoon and is pretty much non-existent by the time the final bell rings at the end of the school day.

Thus, while we fought mightily against the wind on our way to school, we didn’t get the pleasure of the wind at our back on the way home. Put simply, Mother Nature dealt us a raw hand each and every time the north wind blew.

Well, the reaction to the Name the North Wind contest was swift and certain. And not especially kind.

One schoolteacher, noting that the two hardest days to control young kids are the day after Halloween and any day the north wind blows, called it The Wind From Hell. And that was one of the milder entries.

In fact, given that this is a family newspaper, it’s probably best to take young children from the room before we go any further.

Also, best to heed the warning from Joel that, this being Davis and all, we “can only name the wind after a dead person.” Sound advice.

Janet from Zamora, where the north wind may actually originate, used a seven-letter word beginning with the sixth letter of the alphabet and ending in “ing” to describe the north wind. A half dozen others followed suit.

John at dcn.org suggested “Demonic Wind” because, after all, it “blows from Woodland.”

Eric writes that he “votes for Evil Wind or The Evils. The Evils bring a ton of dust and it always sets me on edge; not quite on edge the way Raymond Chandler described the Santa Ana winds, but practically as bad.”

Trust me, Eric, I’ve experienced both, and the best Santa Ana has nothing on us.

Greg at cal.net says “The North Wind brings headaches, plugged noses, leaves from far down the street, scratchy eyes, foul dispositions and not one good thing for anyone to ever say about it. I have lived in the area around Davis and Woodland for almost 70 years and never once have I ever heard anything good about the North Wind.”

Greg then follows the leader and again suggests that seven-letter word beginning with the sixth letter of the alphabet and ending in “ing.”

“Good luck trying to change it to something cute,” Greg offers. Thanks, Greg, but I don’t think “cute” is going to win this contest.

David suggests “Blow Hard Wind,” Dale comes up with the classy “Shasta Blaster” and Ron adds “I thought it was already named the Arctic Express.”

And then along comes Adrienne to put an end to this contest once and for all with the incredibly direct “Wicked Bitch of the North.”

When I ran that one by Lois, who suggested this contest in the first place, she admitted that Adrienne’s entry was “very, very good,” but wondered if I’d be able to slide it past my “great editor.”

Good question, Lois. If Adrienne’s five-word submission appears in this space, you’ll know the censors had the day off.

And if they don’t appear here, no one will know the difference, save for the Above-Pictured Columnist and his great editor.

Me, I’m betting these five words live to see the light of day. Accuracy, after all, is a fundamental of journalism.

— Reach Bob Dunning at bdunning@davisenterprise.net

Comments

comments

.

News

Local therapists bring ‘Daring Greatly’ movement to Davis

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

 
Youths learn wilderness survival skills

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Fertility clinics scan for the strongest embryo

By New York Times News Service | From Page: A2 | Gallery

 
 
Bee beard photo wins award

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

 
As farmland subsides, aquifer worries mount

By San Francisco Chronicle | From Page: A3 | Gallery

 
Pogledich named Yolo County counsel

By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Tuleyome launches Kickstarter campaign to publish a children’s nature book

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

 
Davis teen on California team for national horticulture competition

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Truth and authenticity on radio program

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8

 
Senior sing-along held monthly

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

.

Forum

Thanks for your kindnesses

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

 
Questions, questions, questions

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Speak out

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6

 
Ross Douthat: Democrat, Republican patterns are changing

By New York Times News Service | From Page: A6

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6

 
Civilians are innocent victims

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

.

Sports

River Cats snap three-game losing streak

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Davis’ golden girls

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1

Aggie Silva mixed school and strikes; wins Reno tourney

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

 
Lucky No. 7: Giants snap losing streak

By The Associated Press | From Page: B1

Davis Rugby teams wrap up summer season

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

 
DHS tryout schedule updated; physical packets due

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2

49ers WR Brandon Lloyd enjoying return to NFL

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

 
Hammel struggles in A’s loss to Astros

By The Associated Press | From Page: B8

.

Features

Happy 103rd birthday!

By Wayne Tilcock | From Page: A2

 
Fay Evans: 100 years young

By Spencer Ault | From Page: A3 | Gallery

.

Arts

Winters stages ‘All’s Well That Ends Well’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
Landscape exhibition returns to Davis

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A7

Hear live music at Monticello

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
New KDRT show features touring musicians

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
Hot City heats up Winters gazebo

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

Enjoy some Mischief at First Saturday event

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
British organist to play in Davis

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

Native American dancers to perform in Davis

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7

 
.

Business

.

Obituaries

.

Comics

Comics: Thursday, July 31, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B6