Thursday, March 5, 2015

Bob Dunning: Stay vigilant and trust no one, Aggies


From page A2 | September 06, 2013 |

THE SPY AMONG US … I was sorry to read that UC Davis has closed its football practice for the first time in memory due to the head coach’s fear that someone may have been taking notes and passing them on to the opposition before last week’s 10-7 loss to South Dakota …

Rather than closing practice to those Aggie faithful who enjoy dropping by to view a midweek workout, better to institute a simple blood test … if the “fan” wishing admittance to the practice session bleeds Blue and Gold, let him in … if not, slam the gate and call security …

While it’s doubtful South Dakota brought a spy in from the cold to steal the Aggie playbook, it’s not unheard of at this level of football … exactly 35 years ago, as Boise State and Northern Arizona were preparing to do battle for the Big Sky Conference crown, the Boise head coach paid to have a friend of his who taught PE at Cal State Hayward pose as a scout for the Pittsburgh Steelers to gain admission to practice, watch film and glad-hand in the locker room on the Northern Arizona campus in Flagstaff …

Northern Arizona soon smelled a rat and called the Steelers, quickly learning the folks in Pittsburgh had never heard of this “scout” … the league office was notified and things got ugly … “The reason I did it was because I wanted to win,” was the Boise coach’s simple, if disturbing, explanation …

THE LATEST LINE … oddsmakers don’t like to publish point spreads when teams from different divisions square off, as is the case with Saturday’s Nevada-UC Davis showdown … however, given that folks in Reno might like to have a little action on this game, they made an exception this time and installed the Wolf Pack as an 18-point favorite …

Aggie fans, no doubt, will arrive early enough to put some cold, hard cash down on the Blue and Gold …

HANGING WITH THE SMART FOLKS … I never miss Wendy Weitzel’s “Comings and Goings” column, mostly because it allows me to keep one step ahead of everyone else in town … for instance, I now know that Davis will soon have something called “The Root of Happiness Kava Bar,” which serves a drink that apparently tastes like mud …

But the best part is that the owner told Weitzel that “kava culture” is popular with intellectuals, university professors, yoga enthusiasts and those seeking an alternative to alcohol … I don’t know about you, but I have always longed for the opportunity to hang out with intellectuals, something that’s in short supply on my side of the tracks …

Truth be known, I wouldn’t know an intellectual if I saw one … now, thanks to my colleague Wendy, I’ll know where to find them in bunches …

SPEAKING OF INTELLECTUALS … my thanks to the many folks who entered the recent Contest to Replace the Above-Pictured Columnist … your efforts are much appreciated and, trust me, the Large Judging Body has his work cut out for him to determine a winner …

Unfortunately, the “midnight, Sept. 4” deadline was based on Vatican time, a sad fact that resulted in 99.8 percent of the essays being disqualified unless, of course, Pope Francis steps in to grant a special dispensation …

MAD AS HELL … I absolutely loved the letter to the editor from a woman named “Patti,” who was complaining about a huge “corporate convention/BBQ” gathering that was approved by the city for her neighborhood park until 10 p.m. on a Monday night … her words were strong and to the point about the disturbance this caused to the lives of the residents of her area …

But here’s the best part in Patti’s own words: “Our youngest goes to bed at 7:30 and the two older are in bed at 8 p.m. since they have school the next morning.” … you mean to tell me she has three school-age children who are all in bed by 8 p.m.? … Patti’s family should bottle their secret and sell it fellow parents at Nugget …

— Reach Bob Dunning at [email protected]





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Comics: Thursday, March 5, 2015

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