Wow, first it was kids playing basketball in the street, then it was piles of yard clippings in the bike lanes and now it’s “unsightly” issue-oriented flyers posted by dedicated but clearly misguided Davis school kids.

As I’ve said many times as I scratch my head and wonder what topics will present themselves for discussion today, Davis is the town that keeps on giving.

Just when you think the well has run dry, along comes another earth-shattering controversy that threatens to end hometown democracy as we know it.

Today’s little battle concerns something called “Nature Bowl,” which is a delightful program that numerous elementary school students all over town participate in. I’ve learned about this the hard way when I arrived one time at the end of school to pick up a child or two only to be told “They have Nature Bowl today.” Apparently, this is a program many of our town’s kids absolutely love.

The complaint from a “concerned” citizen about the criminal activities of Davis schoolchildren came to the City of Davis, which in the past has encouraged citizens to rat on each other when it comes to smoke emanating from chimneys, poor folks rummaging through recycled bins for bottles and cans, teenage drummers practicing in the garage, lawns unmowed and littered with old couches, and sprinklers watering the sidewalk. It’s become The Davis Way.

The complaint states that the “Patwin Elementary Nature Bowl team is posting (with flowered tape) 8½-by-11-inch notices on street lights in the neighborhood regarding not using Roundup.”

I don’t know who has the time to file such a formal complaint, but I assure you, I am not making this up. And no, “Roundup” is not the name of the Picnic Day rodeo.

“One of these signs is posted on the Barkley side of Westwood Park,” the complaint goes on. “The City of Davis code does not allow for posting on street lamps. These are paper and are unsightly.”

I think it may have been the flowered tape that pushed this activity from a misdemeanor to a felony.

“Also, it is not a good lesson for elementary students. These will eventually be litter in the street.”

Actually, given this town’s penchant for enforcing the letter of the law, right down to citing people for “audible snoring” in the middle of the night in the privacy of their own homes, this is actually a very good lesson for elementary school students. Especially for those who plan to continue living in this town.

Some of them may be confused about whether the problem was caused by posting flyers on street lights or because they were advocating against the use of Roundup. Or maybe it was just that darn flowered tape.

The lesson to be learned here is that no matter your age, you don’t mess with City Hall. Instead of spending all their after-school hours identifying and advocating for environmental causes, these kids should have been memorizing the City of Davis Municipal Code so they wouldn’t land in hot water at such a tender age.

For instance, I’ll bet no one in this youthful Roundup-bashing bunch knows that in the City of Davis “No person shall paint, mark, or write on, or post or otherwise affix, or erect, construct, maintain, paste, nail, tack or otherwise fasten or affix, any temporary sign on any sidewalk, crosswalk, curb, street lamp post, pole, bench, hydrant, tree, shrub, bridge, electric light or power or telephone wire pole, or wire appurtenance thereof, or upon any street sign or traffic sign, or upon any other object located within the public right-of-way which is not maintained for the purpose of communications by temporary signs by the general public or which is not permitted by this article.”

Try writing that 50 times on the blackboard.

Adds the city ominously: “We enforce these kinds of things when someone complains.”

Sounds like it’s time to “roundup” these little scofflaws.

Book ’em, Danno. Book the whole lot of them.

— Reach Bob Dunning at [email protected]

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