MAD AS HELL … Danny at me.com has just about had it with the Folks in Charge telling him what he can and can’t do in this town …

“Did I read the front page of The Enterprise correctly?” Danny asks … “They want us to pay more for waste collection while they collect less waste, ultimately zero by 2025, then they want to ban all plastic bags, including presumably for beef and chicken so that on a nice hot day like today the leaking packages can contaminate our cloth bags with human pathogens and let them grow at an astronomical rate.” … you said a mouthful there, Danny, but you seem to have an accurate grasp of the issues here …

Adds Danny: “Tell me about these nice candidates from other counties for Assembly. Any sane Republicans, for example, or just the usual kind?” … no elephants so far … “Speaking as a lifelong Democrat, with decades in Davis, candidates I don’t know well might give me more hope.” …

As much as they might hate to admit it, with 40 percent of our current council running for elective office in Sacramento, every action they take for the next year must be weighed in terms of how it will affect their electoral chances next June … we’re in for an interesting ride, to say the least …

NORTHWARD MIGRATION … my friend Bill points out that “a dearth of parking is not the reason for the exodus to Woodland via Pole Line. The problem is that you can’t buy the goods they offer to the North at comparable prices or, in many cases, at any price in Davis.” … I thought Target was supposed to fix the underwear problem once and for all …

Adds Bill: “Our downtown is replete with bars, eateries and boutique stores, all upscale. They cater to the faculty and staff of the university, and to the affluent folks who choose to live here because of the amenities.” … you speak the truth, my friend … “If you want 25 pounds of inexpensive flour or a gallon bottle of canola oil, you go to Costco. If I’m missing two ¼-20 SS machine screws, I go to Ace. But if I want to remodel the kitchen, off to Home Depot. Heck, we couldn’t even support Borders with a university a stone’s throw away? People would hang out there, then buy on Amazon.” … it’s the Davis Way …

And to all those who say, well, Costco sells only groceries, so there’s no sales tax leakage, I suggest they take a tour of the store before making such crazy statements …

PAPER TRAIL … for unknown reasons someone has been stealing The New York Times off my East Davis driveway … I know it’s not a carrier error or some other sort of delivery malfeasance because every morning about 4 a.m. I hear a distinct “plop” on the pavement as the always-in-a-hurry deliveryman hurries off to complete his appointed rounds … yes, the paper gets here, but it quickly — and much more quietly — disappears …

Granted, The Times is one of the more pricey papers you can subscribe to, but its Tuesday “Science Times” and its Wednesday food section are worth the price of admission all by themselves … plus, I like to keep an eye on the competition … what I didn’t realize is that The Times, in addition to its highbrow readership (see photo above) also appeals to petty thieves …

I plan to fake a “vacation” later this summer, pretending to be out of contact in Tillamook, but in reality I’ll be manning a bank of state-of-the-art cameras from a secure perch in my city-mandated front-yard hackberry … when I catch this low-life intellectual, I’ll turn him over to Big Ed Prieto for deportation to Modoc County, where even the New York Times doesn’t circulate …

THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT … I was watching the esteemed “Today” show the other morning and they were extolling — and sampling — various beers as the words on the television screen told us that these particular beers “compliment any dish.” … wow, a beer that can talk … another sure sign The End is near …

— Reach Bob Dunning at [email protected]

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