It was one of those headlines made for Thanksgiving Day, one you couldn’t make up, the ultimate result of this town’s ongoing love/hate relationship with wild turkeys. Only it happened not today or this week, but over the summer.
“Drivers crash while braking for turkeys,” said the headline over Lauren Keene’s to-the-point, two-paragraph story that may or may not win her a Pulitzer for breaking news. Make that “braking” news.
“An impromptu turkey crossing on Highway 113 caused a chain-reaction collision Wednesday morning,” Keene’s story begins.
“Three vehicles were involved in the crash, which occurred at about 7:15 a.m. at northbound Highway 113 at westbound Interstate 80.”
If you’re going to win that Pulitzer, Lauren, you’ll have to find out the make and model of the car the turkey was driving.
“No injuries were reported, but two vehicles had to be towed from the scene.”
Funny stuff, I suppose, unless you were in one of the vehicles that had to be towed.
Interestingly, as I was recalling Lauren’s terrific Tom Turkey Traffic report, it reminded me of a story I was sent recently about how folks are dealing with turkeys one state to the north of us.
“In Jefferson City, Oregon, officials are shooting wild turkeys, citing complaints that the birds have become an annoyance. Some of the complaints about the turkeys are that they scratch the paint off of cars and build their nests on rooftops,” said the report.
Hey, even a turkey has to live somewhere.
According to Steve Marks of the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife and Unwanted Turkeys, “If residents are feeding turkeys, it can cause large congregations of turkeys.”
Marks was unable to disclose which religious denomination this turkey congregation belonged to, but presumably one dedicated to feeding large birds.
Turns out the state issued a permit to Jefferson City “which allows a skilled hunter to shoot the turkeys. The appointed hunter was chosen by the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife.” Turns out the person they picked was efficient, given that “three toms already were ‘harvested’ Tuesday morning.” Just in time for Thanksgiving.
Going back to our “coyote harvesting” days right here in the City of All Things Right and Relevant, I’m wondering have badly folks will come unglued if we start harvesting turkeys in Davis in the name of feeding the hungry.
Yes, according to the report, meat from the three toms was taken in for processing, then delivered to needy families in the area.
Hoping to avoid vigilante action, the city of Davis Department of Public Turkey Works has issued a “Please Do Not Feed the Wild Turkeys” warning on its website, noting that Davis’ highly educated, GATE-eligible turkeys “Roam around looking for food and normally spend only a few days in any given location.”
The city suspects that the fact Davis turkeys seem to have settled down in one spot “suggests that they are finding a source of food that is supplemental to natural availability.” Adds the city, pointing the finger of blame squarely at certain local residents, “It is suspected that some well-meaning folks in this neighborhood are feeding the turkeys.”
Additionally, the Department of Public Turkey Works warns that “Feeding turkeys also causes them to lose their natural fear of humans, potentially leading to aggressive interactions between turkeys and residents. In addition to concentrating foraging activity, supplemental feeding attracts new turkeys from outside of town, and increases reproductive success.”
I find it interesting that feeding an in-town turkey can attract out-of-town turkeys. I knew that honeybees could communicate the location of a food source to other honeybees, but I wasn’t sure if turkeys possessed that skill as well.
Clearly, we need an ordinance to provide jail time for people found to be feeding turkeys.
Either that or hire that rifleman from Oregon to come south the day before Thanksgiving.

— Reach Bob Dunning at [email protected]

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