MUM’S THE WORD … now that we know the folks running our high-level, no-holds-barred, turn-over-every-stone investigation into the UC Davis pepper spray incident will not be allowed to talk to either of the officers who did the actual spraying or to the chief of police who may or may not have authorized the spraying, we can all stop holding our breath as to what this investigation will uncover … put simply, not much …

MONEY TO BURN … we may not have been shocked, but some of us were at least surprised to see that UC Davis spent $100,000 to hire a “crisis communications consultant” to put the proper spin on the shot of pepper spray heard round the world … and here I thought UC Davis already had a well-oiled, well-financed “news service” for just such occasions …

Then again, when the geniuses at Fox News are insisting that pepper spray is “essentially a food,” maybe you need a crisis communications consultant to contain the damage … had anyone asked me for advice on how to handle the crisis, I’d have suggested that telling “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” might have been a good starting point … and I’d have done it for about $99,000 less than the firm they brought in … plus, because I live in Davis, I’d have waived the per diem as well …

10 NEW TV STARS … the council-appointed Water Advisory Committee made the right move when it agreed to move its twice-a-month meetings to the Community Chambers and televise them live so the rest of us can see just how hard-working these folks are … I’m sure I’ll hear a number of things come out of these meetings that I disagree with, but to a person, the members of this committee are to be commended for the hundreds of unpaid hours they’re certain to put in before they make their final recommendations to the council and to the residents of Davis …

INDY WEATHER … Channel 3, which apparently has a whole team of reporters and anchors in Indianapolis for the Super Bowl — did anyone tell them the 49ers lost? — gave a “Game Day Forecast” last night that called for a high in Indianapolis Sunday of 46 degrees and a chance of rain … important information for fans to have in case the roof on the indoor stadium springs a leak …

MILLIONS FOR THE ASKING … my friend Robert writes to say he just wants to “thank The Enterprise for predicting the winning lottery numbers for the $71 million jackpot this coming June!” … holy exclamation points, I didn’t know we were in the business of predicting numbers for the California Lottery … Super Bowl winners, sure, but lottery winners, not so sure …

“Since the prediction is right next to your column in last Wednesday’s paper, I figured you and/or Madame X had something to do with it.” … sure enough, upon checking on my home page of A2, are the words “Unofficial draw results for June 14, 2012,” followed by the “winning numbers” of “10-22-24-36-49” for the Mega Millions, with the Meganumber of “33,” all for a jackpot of 71 million smackers … full-service newspaper that we are, we also included the winning June 14 numbers for Fantasy 5, Daily 4, Daily 3 and the Daily Derby, but I’m keeping those to myself so I don’t have to share the jackpot …

Upon further research, I learned that our staff lottery expert, Joey Nostradamus, provides this as a service once a year … you should, however, realize that June 14 is Flag Day, and any lottery winnings on that day are taxed at a 98 percent rate, unless you’re Mitt Romney, in which case it’s 13.9 percent …

Notes Robert: “I know the world is supposed to end on Dec. 21, 2012, so I might have a hard time spending all those millions in just six months.” … sorry, my friend, it’s the best we could do …

— Reach Bob Dunning at [email protected]

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