Got my sample ballot for the “Davis Joint Unified School District Special Election” that will be coming to a mailbox near you if it hasn’t already arrived.

And I’ll tell you, tongues were wagging on my under-educated side of the tracks when word got around that this was an all-male ballot, just like the Founding Fathers envisioned. It took several calls to the County Clerk’s Office before the confusion was cleared up and our womenfolk were assured that they could vote as well. And since our humble household has far more females than males, it was a happy day around here indeed.

Now, our family has embarked on a Frugal February in which we have all pledged not to spend a penny for the entire month, so it’s a good thing ballots aren’t due until March 6 or we wouldn’t be able to buy a stamp to mail it in.

Then again, voting is free if we’re willing to walk it down to the public library on 14th Street or hitchhike up to the Elections Office in Woodland.

One thing that’s clear to me after reading the entire ballot pamphlet is that the county of Yolo is in need of a proofreader. And I just happen to know one who works cheap. (See photo above).

First, the phrase “all mail ballot” just screams for a hyphen between the “all” and the “mail.” The same for an “all-male ballot.” Plus, if you can drop your ballot off at the library or the Elections Office instead of mailing it in, it is not, by definition, an “all-mail ballot.”

The instruction titled “How to Mark your Ballot” begs the question as to why “Mark” and “Ballot” are both capitalized, but “your” isn’t.
Be that as it may, the instructions that follow ask us to “Please use a black or blue ink pen to mark your choices on the ballot.”

Note the word “choices.” As in plural. Now, there are indeed two “choices” on the ballot in “Yes” and “No.” But you and I have but one “choice.” As in singular. There is, after all, just one issue on the ballot, and any way you slice it, we don’t have “choices.” If you don’t believe me, try voting both “Yes” and “No” and watch your ballot head straight for the incinerator.

Nevertheless, the sample ballot instructs us that “To vote for your choice in each contest, completely fill in the box provided to the left of your choice.”

My ballot lists simply “Measure C” and nothing more, but maybe it’s missing a page and I should contact the Elections Office to have a new one sent so I don’t miss out on the action.

Under “Important Notice,” I am told “This is a VOTE-BY-MAIL BALLOT Election,” but I’m not told why “Election” is capitalized.
I’m also commanded to “VOTE EARLY!,” exclamation point and all, as if somehow my vote will count more if my ballot gets there before yours does.

“Your ballot must be received by 8:00 p.m. on Election Day, March 6, 2012, to be counted.” But if I VOTE EARLY!, maybe there’s a prize at the bottom of the ballot box.

According to the impartial analysis by Yolo County Counsel Robyn Truitt Drivon, “If two-thirds of the qualified electors voting on the measure vote for approval, the measure will succeed and the proposed special tax can be levied.”

I’m with you so far, Robyn.

But, “If two-thirds of the qualified electors voting on the measure do not vote for approval, the measure will fail.”

Now wait a minute. You mean it won’t fail unless two-thirds of the electors do not vote for it? I think it fails if one-third plus one of the electors do not vote for it.

Like I said, these folks need a proofreader. (See photo above).
Rates available upon request.

— Reach Bob Dunning at [email protected]

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