Sunday, December 21, 2014
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

This delicious water is ours, for the taking

BobDunning2W

By
July 29, 2011 |

SOLVING OUR WATER WOES … while the cover story was that I was on a richly deserved vacation in the Pacific Northwest over the past few days, the truth of the matter is I was on a serious mission to save the city of Davis from financial ruin … and, I’m happy to report, I was wildly successful … yes, after hours of intense negotiation, I was able to secure water rights from the Columbia River for Davis at a fraction of the cost of importing Sacramento River water …

After meeting with the governors of Oregon and Washington, along with representatives of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police — the Columbia does, after all, originate in the wilds of British Columbia — I was told I was welcome to all the Columbia River water I could haul back home in five-gallon jugs … for free … I secured the same rights for each and every one of my 63,111 fellow Davisites …

After testing the water with my home salinity kit, I’m happy to report the Columbia is 99.44 percent pure, just like Ivory Soap … but please, don’t name me Citizen of the Year for my efforts … it’s the least I could do for the city I love …

DOING THE MATH … instead of using five-gallon jugs (see above), we could simply build a trench to divert Columbia River water southward … given that it’s about 600 miles from the Putah to the Columbia, and given that we have 63,111 Davisites, that means each of us will be personally responsible for digging just less than one-hundreth of a mile of the trench, or about 52 feet … it may sound like a lot of work, but if it will keep our water rates from quadrupling in the next few years, I have my shovel packed and am ready to head north …

SPEAKING OF NORTHWEST WATER … while the city of Davis’ most recent mailing claims bottled water goes for $1.29 per 16-ounce bottle, whoever came up with that figure apparently never shopped in Medford … yep, the Fred Meyer in this southern Oregon metropolis was selling deliciously refreshing gallon jugs of pure water for a mere 64 cents, which works out neatly to two ounces per penny … in other words, eight cents for 16 ounces … enough to make you want to move …

EVEN MORE WATER TALK … I got home just in time to miss the final “forum” on the new water rates, which are beginning to take on an air of inevitability … with all the forums in the bank, the City Council will take August off to gear up for its battle with the citizenry on Sept. 6 … and trust me, that’s going to be one interesting evening …

The city has promised, after much initial resistance, to mail out simplified “protest” forms to all 16,402 ratepayers in town … if a majority (8,202) choose to protest in writing, the city is forbidden from moving forward, but even Lloyd’s of London is unwilling to post odds of that actually happening … what is likely if the city goes ahead with its plan is some sort of petition drive to put this whole issue on the ballot, where the rate increase likely would be in serious trouble …

Stay tuned … things are about to get very interesting around the old hometown …

— Entries to the Contest to Replace the Above-Pictured Columnist are due by Friday, Aug. 19. Entries may be about any subject and should be between 400 and 800 words in length. Entries may be emailed to bdunning@davisenterprise.net, and should include the author’s daytime and evening telephone numbers and a brief biography.

Comments

comments

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    Brinley Plaque honors environmental stalwart

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    What’s new at UCD? Construction projects abound

    By Tanya Perez | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    No-nonsense Musser voted Citizen of the Year

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

    Sharing a meal, and so much more

    By Anne Ternus-Bellamy | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Downtown crash results in DUI arrest

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

    March trial date set in Davis molest case

    By Lauren Keene | From Page: A2

     
    North Korea proposes joint probe over Sony hacking

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    AP sources: Cops’ killer angry over Garner death

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Raul Castro: Don’t expect detente to change Cuban system

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Police seek help in finding runaway twin girls

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A2

    Pedal around Davis on weekly bike ride

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Supplies collected for victims of abuse

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Donors, volunteers honored on Philanthropy Day

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

    Enterprise plans Christmas, New Year’s holiday hours

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
     
    Luminaria display planned in West Davis

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

    Soup’s On will benefit NAMI-Yolo

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A3

     
    Surprise honor is really nice, dude

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Konditorei presents free holiday concert

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

    .

    Forum

    It’s not a pretty picture

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B4

     
    Google me this: Should I hit that button?

    By Marion Franck | From Page: B4

     
    E-cigs surpass regular cigarettes among teens

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B4

    Too late to pick a fight

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    All police need to humanize

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

    Are we only a fair-weather bike city?

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A10

     
    Join us in making our world more just

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A10

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: A10

    The electronic equivalent of war

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11

     
    The Green House effect: Homes where the elderly thrive

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A11

    .

    Sports

    UCD women look to improve, despite game at No. 7 Stanford

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Second-half run spurs Aggie men to 8-1

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    Stenz shines as DHS girls take a tournament title

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Aggie Manzanares not quite finished carrying the rock

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    49ers fall to San Diego in overtime

    By The Associated Press | From Page: B10

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

    .

    Business

    Marrone Bio expands its product reach in Latin America

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Sierra Northern Railway names CEO

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    Sink your teeth into Vampire Penguin

    By Wendy Weitzel | From Page: A4 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Sunday, December 21, 2014

    By Creator | From Page: B8