Friday, April 24, 2015
YOLO COUNTY NEWS
99 CENTS

This delicious water is ours, for the taking

BobDunning2W

By
July 29, 2011 |

SOLVING OUR WATER WOES … while the cover story was that I was on a richly deserved vacation in the Pacific Northwest over the past few days, the truth of the matter is I was on a serious mission to save the city of Davis from financial ruin … and, I’m happy to report, I was wildly successful … yes, after hours of intense negotiation, I was able to secure water rights from the Columbia River for Davis at a fraction of the cost of importing Sacramento River water …

After meeting with the governors of Oregon and Washington, along with representatives of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police — the Columbia does, after all, originate in the wilds of British Columbia — I was told I was welcome to all the Columbia River water I could haul back home in five-gallon jugs … for free … I secured the same rights for each and every one of my 63,111 fellow Davisites …

After testing the water with my home salinity kit, I’m happy to report the Columbia is 99.44 percent pure, just like Ivory Soap … but please, don’t name me Citizen of the Year for my efforts … it’s the least I could do for the city I love …

DOING THE MATH … instead of using five-gallon jugs (see above), we could simply build a trench to divert Columbia River water southward … given that it’s about 600 miles from the Putah to the Columbia, and given that we have 63,111 Davisites, that means each of us will be personally responsible for digging just less than one-hundreth of a mile of the trench, or about 52 feet … it may sound like a lot of work, but if it will keep our water rates from quadrupling in the next few years, I have my shovel packed and am ready to head north …

SPEAKING OF NORTHWEST WATER … while the city of Davis’ most recent mailing claims bottled water goes for $1.29 per 16-ounce bottle, whoever came up with that figure apparently never shopped in Medford … yep, the Fred Meyer in this southern Oregon metropolis was selling deliciously refreshing gallon jugs of pure water for a mere 64 cents, which works out neatly to two ounces per penny … in other words, eight cents for 16 ounces … enough to make you want to move …

EVEN MORE WATER TALK … I got home just in time to miss the final “forum” on the new water rates, which are beginning to take on an air of inevitability … with all the forums in the bank, the City Council will take August off to gear up for its battle with the citizenry on Sept. 6 … and trust me, that’s going to be one interesting evening …

The city has promised, after much initial resistance, to mail out simplified “protest” forms to all 16,402 ratepayers in town … if a majority (8,202) choose to protest in writing, the city is forbidden from moving forward, but even Lloyd’s of London is unwilling to post odds of that actually happening … what is likely if the city goes ahead with its plan is some sort of petition drive to put this whole issue on the ballot, where the rate increase likely would be in serious trouble …

Stay tuned … things are about to get very interesting around the old hometown …

— Entries to the Contest to Replace the Above-Pictured Columnist are due by Friday, Aug. 19. Entries may be about any subject and should be between 400 and 800 words in length. Entries may be emailed to [email protected], and should include the author’s daytime and evening telephone numbers and a brief biography.

Comments

comments

  • Recent Posts

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this newspaper and receive notifications of new articles by email.

  • .

    News

    New design submitted for conference center

    By Dave Ryan | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Water and power have a troubling interdependency

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A1 | Gallery

     
    Bob Dunning: Fairness is an afterthought for them

    By Bob Dunning | From Page: A2

    Los Angeles march to commemorate Armenian killings

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

     
    Hostage deaths a reminder of risk of ‘deadly mistakes’

    By The Associated Press | From Page: A2

    Walkers head out three times weekly

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4Comments are off for this post

     
    Got bikes? Donate ‘em!

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    Need a new best friend?

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

    Beginning tai chi classes start May 5

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

     
    College Night set April 30 at DHS

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

    School board hears report on health services

    By Jeff Hudson | From Page: A5

     
    Tour of co-ops precedes Sacramento conference

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

    Mamajowali will perform at benefit house concert

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A6 | Gallery

     
    Explorit: Celebrate International Astronomy Day

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

    Learn basics of composting in Woodland

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

     
    Raptor Center welcomes visitors at May 2 open house

    By Trina Wood | From Page: A8 | Gallery

    Take a peek at region’s past at Tremont Mite Society’s social

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A8 | Gallery

     
    BeerFest expands to include cider

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8

    Winkler Dinner raises funds for enology, viticulture activities

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: A8 | Gallery

     
    Mapping where human action is causing earthquakes

    By New York Times News Service | From Page: A9

    Hummingbird health: Appreciating the little things

    By Kat Kerlin | From Page: A12 | Gallery

     
    .

    Forum

    Thanks for supporting the arts

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

     
    Bike Swap another success

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

    Drink is a tasteless insult

    By Letters to the Editor | From Page: B4

     
    Tom Meyer cartoon

    By Debbie Davis | From Page: B4

    The fight for gender pay equity

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B4

     
    It’s a depressing beat

    By Creators Syndicate | From Page: B5

     
    .

    Sports

    Lehner talks about the UCD student-athlete experience

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1

     
    Reeling Blue Devils stop skid against Sheldon

    By Evan Ream | From Page: B1 | Gallery

    Aggie Spring Game environment will up the gridiron fun factor

    By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

     
    Rare DHS track loss still full of highlights

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1

     
    DYSA roundup: Lester, Osborne lead Storm over Dixon

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

    Lady Demons’ fundraiser a smash hit

    By Enterprise staff | From Page: B3 | Gallery

     
    Pro baseball roundup: River Cats lose their fourth straight

    By Staff and wire reports | From Page: B12

    .

    Features

    .

    Arts

     
    ‘Ex Machina': The perils of playing God

    By Derrick Bang | From Page: A10 | Gallery

    Ceramicist works will be featured at The Artery

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A11 | Gallery

     
    .

    Business

    Chamber expands Korean sister-city opportunities

    By Felicia Alvarez | From Page: A5 | Gallery

     
    Car Care: Tips for buying your first ATV

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: B6

    Subaru goes rear-wheel drive with sporty BRZ coupe

    By Ann M. Job | From Page: B7 | Gallery

     
    .

    Obituaries

    Whitney Joy Engler

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

     
    Valente Forrest Dolcini

    By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

    .

    Comics

    Comics: Friday, April 24, 2015

    By Creator | From Page: B5