Q&A: Bride is irked that mom’s dress resembles the wedding gown

Q: My mom chose a mother-of-the-bride dress that looks just like my wedding gown. Am I being overly dramatic by not wanting her to wear it?

A: First off, try to understand that finding a dress is tough for moms, especially with the balancing act of not wanting to overshadow the bride, dressing age-appropriately and finding something that she and you will like.

Even if your mother’s dress has the same shape or color as yours, it shouldn’t draw any attention from you on your wedding day. Don’t let her slightly rebellious dress decision ruin your time together as you plan the wedding.
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Q: I bought my dream dress a while ago, but I’m constantly having second thoughts. I keep seeing beautiful dresses that make me think twice about my decision. Any suggestions?

A: Yes: Stop looking for other dresses. It’s human nature to want something simply because you can’t have it. And when it comes to such a big and emotional purchase, buyer’s remorse is bound to happen, but trust yourself: You called it your dream dress — and you chose it for a reason.
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Q: My bridal party is divided into two cliques — my high-school friends and my college friends — and they’re constantly trying to outshine each other. What should I do — bridesmaid intervention?

A: Yikes! Tension between bridesmaids is never fun. Normally, I’d suggest having more group outings to try to ease them into friendship (or at least cordiality), but it doesn’t sound like that’s in the cards.

Instead, limit the big get-togethers and go for smaller meet-ups or even one-on-ones with the girls (like bringing one girl to the cake baker and one to the stationer with you). Then, you won’t have so many talking heads to listen to.

While many opinions are good, having too many (especially in this case) isn’t the best option when planning a wedding.
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Q: I’m arranging a bachelorette dinner for my pregnant engaged friend. Any fun after-dinner ideas?

A: There’s no need to end the festivities after dessert. Invite everyone back to one of the girls’ houses for mocktails and games. Go to TheKnot.com/bridesmaid for tons of fun and creative bachelorette ideas, like Wedding Trivia (the bride should win this one without a hitch). Or go old-school and host a classic slumber party, complete with throwback games like Truth or Dare and Two Truths and a Lie. You can also arrange for a relaxing spa day (or night) — no alcohol needed.
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Q: Can I tell our guests not to wear the same color as the bridesmaid dresses?

A: It’s perfectly acceptable (and encouraged) to give guests some sort of attire guidelines based on the formality of the occasion (black-tie, cocktail, beach-chic).

Some couples are even asking friends and family to dress to match the wedding’s theme or palette (say, all black-and-white or Roaring ’20s attire) in order to get highly stylized photos and to excite guests about a unique wedding experience.

But it’s still not kosher to dictate to guests what specifically they can and can’t wear. Even that unspoken rule about not wearing white should remain … well, unspoken.

If your invitations showcase your wedding colors, your female guests may catch on and steer away from dresses in those shades anyway. But if you want to make sure your bridesmaids stand out, gift them matching statement necklaces or earrings, or get them sashes to wear with their dresses in another color from your wedding palette.