When it comes to softball, and just about everything else, women and men really do think differently. This was reaffirmed in my mind at an annual Davis Youth Softball Association team formation meeting hosted by my wife at our home.

Close to 300 girls were to be organized and placed in some kind of order on 28 recreational teams based on relatively objective criteria like age, positions they had previously played, amount of experience and the ratings of former coaches. Girls who had never played before would be evenly distributed among the teams.

Sounds simple, right? That’s what the two male members of the DYSA board of directors thought when they joined four female board members to engage in this process. The women knew better.

The team formation meeting was set to begin at 9 a.m. on a Saturday morning. My wife promised coffee and a continental breakfast, which it was my role to prepare and serve — marriage being a team sport after all. She also promised me the rest of my Saturday was my own, I would be free to mow the lawn, wash the car; you know, fun guy stuff. I suspect my wife knew all along she was deceiving me.

I served the food on time and retired to the garage as the two male board members confidently predicted the task at hand would be completed before noon. And so it was. Or so they thought.

The guys took charge right out the gate. They divided the girls up by age and assigned coaches. Attention was paid to the ratings of the coaches and each team was assigned at least one experienced pitcher and catcher. With the help of the ladies, they even considered friend requests for the younger girls so that each player could have at least one buddy on her team. That’s it, we’re done and it was barely 12 o’clock!

The gentlemen excused themselves and packed up their computers. The women thanked them for all their hard work and the men left to enjoy the rest of the day.

I was ensconced with a bottle of car wax and my convertible when my wife called me in and asked me if I would please run to Subway and get sandwiches for lunch, as the ladies were going to refine the finished team rosters “just a bit.” I was happy to oblige, needing to blow the wax dust off the car anyway.

At 4 p.m., I began serving the ladies wine and cocktails. The computerized team roster printouts the guys had left behind now festooned the chairs, walls and table of our dining room. Animated female conversation circled around new terms and descriptions the men had somehow failed to consider. Concepts like, “She’s an older 10 (year-old),” “She’s a young 12,” and “We can’t put those two together, all they do is fight,” were now being factored into the equation.

Skill levels of experienced players were being dissected way beyond the coaches’ ratings the men had solely considered. Pitchers and catchers were assigned and re-assigned based on these new criteria, each time creating a new domino effect on the proposed teams. And friend requests were being looked at for all the girls, not just the younger ones, a factor that upset the apple cart time and again. The ladies were undaunted. I served dinner at 7 p.m.

It was just shy of 11 p.m. when the women were finally done. I had kept coffee and wine coming and marveled at their finished product. The guys had done a good job, wrapped it up quickly and certainly formed the basis for what finally emerged. But while the female process was slow, the results were superb.

The season that followed validated the work of these ladies as well-balanced teams produced one close and exciting game after another. What particularly amazed me was by the time the last glass of liquid lubricant was consumed, the ladies had honored every one of the friend requests. Every single one!

They had fun doing it and I got a kick out of observing a case study in feminine decision-making few men ever see. I was reminded of an interesting insight a very wise athletic director once gave to me. He told me how male athletic teams tend to be hierarchical, with team captains that communicate to the coaching staff what the team is thinking, while female teams are more democratic, discussing everything as a group. And when it comes to the kids the AD told me, “Boys feel good when they play well. Girls play well when they feel good.”

Let’s play some ball, ladies!

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