Wednesday, April 16, 2014

No cure for hurt feelings


Dear Annie: My 58-year-old mother has a best friend whom she has known since they were both 5 years old. We call her “Aunt Marsha.” She’s been at all of our weddings and holidays. She is still friendly with her ex-daughter-in-law, who happens to be a good friend of mine.

In years past, when Aunt Marsha has a male companion in her life, she typically falls off the face of the Earth. Recently, she found a new guy who happens to be married, so her communication with us is limited.

Right now, Aunt Marsha is upset with both my mother and me because her ex-daughter-in-law was in town with her new husband and daughter, and they stayed with me. Aunt Marsha knew about the visit, and I told her if we planned any family events, I would let her know. However, when my friend arrived with her family, she said that having her ex-mother-in-law in attendance at dinner would be awkward. So I did not invite Aunt Marsha.

When my mother next saw Marsha, she mentioned how nice it was to see my friend, and of course, Aunt Marsha was miffed that she wasn’t included. After several attempts to contact my aunt, I received an email that she was upset and hurt, and that she had waited around for a phone call to be invited over and it never came. She said, “I know it is your house and your company, but my feelings are hurt.”

Annie, I never intended to hurt her. It’s just how things worked out. But she still hasn’t spoken to either my mother or me in six months. She ignores my mother’s calls, cards and attempts to reach out. It’s possible that when her current male companion is out of the picture, she will come running to us for support, as usual. But in the meantime, what can I do to help my mother? She misses her best friend.

— Omaha, Neb.

Dear Omaha: You actually owe Marsha an apology. You promised to include her, and then you didn’t, nor did you let her know. We realize it was your friend who changed the plans, but you still should have informed Marsha. Instead, she felt excluded from your family. That said, she is being rather unforgiving and pigheaded about it. If you haven’t apologized, please do so. The rest will simply have to run its course.


Dear Annie: My husband and I agree that it is bad behavior to use one’s cellphone while in the company of others, unless it’s an emergency. However, he even thinks someone looking up information or showing pictures is rude. I disagree. He also feels justified in saying something to the offending party. I think it’s best to say nothing and simply not go out with them again. It’s too embarrassing to everyone. What is your take on this?

— Tired of Arguing

Dear Tired: Showing pictures on your phone to people at the table is not rude unless it turns into a slide show. Looking up information is fine as long as it is pertinent, such as checking the time of the movie you are planning to see. It is also OK to speak up when someone talks or texts incessantly. Say politely, “Could we make this a cell-free zone for the duration?” If they refuse, then you can stop going out with them.


Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Waiting,” who doesn’t like it when the bank tellers chitchat with the customers. I enjoy the personal touch and suggest that those who don’t use the ATM instead.

— Louisville, Ky.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at

— Creators Syndicate Inc.

Special to The Enterprise


Discussion | No comments

The Davis Enterprise does not necessarily condone the comments here, nor does it review every post. Read our full policy



Frank, Peterman, Davis Bicycles! get us from here to there

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A1 | Gallery

Family fiction in miniature showcased at bookstore event

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A3 | Gallery

Local professor subdues unruly man on flight

By Adrian Glass-Moore | From Page: A3

Rotarians, students, teachers, parents collaborate on planter boxes

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4 | Gallery

Yolo Crisis Nursery is in crisis; please help

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A4

Meditation, Buddhism classes offered

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Seniors can get tips for getting around town

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

School has garden plots for rent

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Sugar overload, on ‘Davisville’

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A4

Check out the night sky

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5 | Gallery

Hop to it: Easter Bunny meets Davis history tour

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A5

Garden doctor: Veggie gardening available year-round

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Animal expert explains dogs’ thinking

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A5

Central Park Gardens to host Volunteer Orientation Day

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A7 | Gallery

Are we there yet?: Self-reflections of a would-be stage mom

By Tanya Perez | From Page: A8Comments are off for this post



Urban forest under siege

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A6

Drought care for our trees

By Letters to the Editor | From Page: A6

Tom Meyer cartoon

By Debbie Davis | From Page: A6



UCD pen allows 19 hits in Causeway rout

By Bruce Gallaudet | From Page: B1 | Gallery

DHS softball struggles in nonleague outing

By Spencer Ault | From Page: B1 | Gallery

Devils open Boras Classic by splitting games

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B1 | Gallery

JV/frosh roundup: DHS sweeps a trio of baseball games

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B2 | Gallery

Baseball roundup: River Cats get by Grizzlies at Raley

By The Associated Press | From Page: B3

Sports briefs: Stanford sends Aggies home with a lacrosse loss

By Enterprise staff | From Page: B8 | Gallery





See Flower Power exhibit at Gallery 625

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery

Red Union Blue inks record deal

By Landon Christensen | From Page: A9 | Gallery

Craft Center exhibit explores ‘Possibilities’

By Special to The Enterprise | From Page: A9

RootStock to host wine themed plein aire exhibit

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9

The California Honeydrops to bring danceable groove to The Palms

By Enterprise staff | From Page: A9 | Gallery







Comics: Wednesday, April 16, 2014

By Creator | From Page: B6